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Original poster

Children being detained in New Zealand by English Father on LTBV

14 replies

bellarama · 08/01/2012 17:22

Hi All.

It has been a while since i last posted on here. Last time you guys were great and helped me lots with my now four year old DD and just gone DS of two.

Very quick long story short. In August i went to NZ to divorce my husband. He is english and moved over there to start a buisiness and new life. Had tryied to stop him but to no avail (you know what men are like, lol). Anyhows, whilst over there (to cut long story short) we didnt know when he would see the children again so we agreed that the children should stay with him for four weeks, It was summer, i needed to find a house back in England, Devon as he wouldnt help me and i had to sleep on mothers floor and we agreed that it would be good for the children to stay with him a little bit. I have never agreed with taking a child away from their daddy hence why they stayed. Anyway as you can guess, hubby has now refused to send them back so i am now in |England trying to get them back through Hague Convention.

I have had lots of questions, actually people highly voicing their opinions asking how could a mother leave her children in another country..... i didn't. They were staying for a holiday whilst we AMICABLY sorted everything else out.

Since then my husband has limited my skype converstaions with them and applyed for custody of our babies. Funny considering that he has never cared for them. Anyway, i needed a vent and a blah and you guys have been so supportive through the colic, sleepnesss nights, fussy eating and everything else that comes with the joy of children i felt the need to share.

So there it is in a nut shell. Probably a blurbed converstaion as i a m one of those peoiple that just writes what i think, but i am a true believer in kHARMA............. and i am hoping that you yummy mummys are to xxxxxx

OP posts:
Original poster
bellarama · 08/01/2012 17:26

Was going to go the High Court for a return order but because he had sneakily started a custody order in NZ i couldnt. Child Abduction unit is now involved, has been for six weeks but it is all taking so long.

Has anyone had dealings with them b4 and if so how do i get them to progress quicker.

Im also worried what father of children will do when he finds out i have applies through nz court to have them sent back.

Feel like i am at a loss. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated xx

OP posts:
sailorsgal · 08/01/2012 18:16

Have you spoken to him? Has he said why he is not bringing them back? Can you not go out there? Sorry for all the questions, but I can't imagine what you are going through.

Original poster
bellarama · 09/01/2012 17:18

Hi sailorsgal,

Yes i have spoken to him. It is very strained obviously. He does not tell me what the children are doing unless i ask him and even then he he choses his words carefully and isnt telling me everything. The Central Authority in NZ is contacting him in the next few days to let him know i've applied through the Hague Convention, so that will be a fun call from him!

I have been advised by my solicitor to stay here as the child abduction agency is now involved. It was never my dream to go there and in a selfish way he still went ahead to go out there. The childrens lives and mine are here as are ALL of their family.

On the up though i was told today that i should know in two weeks if they are returning. I will have to go and get them myself though, 32 hours there and 32 back........ but if i had to fly for a week to get them i would :-)))

Fingers crossed. I might even venture into their room tonight. Have been a bit wet and not been able to go in of late :-(

OP posts:
sailorsgal · 09/01/2012 18:09

You are been extremely strong but what else can you do. I hope the next two weeks go quickly. Will be thinking of you. Please let us know when you are all home safe and well. Smile

NatashaBee · 09/01/2012 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
bellarama · 12/01/2012 17:24

Hi all,

just a very quick update.... i was allowed to speak to my babies last night.....YIPPEE!!!!!!

Husband also went to court for the custody case today, only to be told that it was being put on hold because my paperwork is finally in the system over thereGrin.

Next stop is the high court judge in NZ to determine whether the children should be sent back under the Hague Convention. Fingers crossed. From there a decision is usually made in 48 hrs.

I have armed myself with statements from toddler group, pre school over here, health visitor, work colleagues and even my mother (bless her). Am having a very positive day today.

Thank you for the reunite link. There are some very good pieces of information on there.

OP posts:
NicknameTaken · 13/01/2012 12:10

God, your ex is a shit! Glad Reunite is helpful and I hope you get your babies back soon. (And I totally understand why you let your dcs have this holiday with your father. You didn't know he would betray your trust like that. Good luck!

Original poster
bellarama · 23/01/2012 17:14

Hiya,

Just a quick update.

I now have a prelim hearing on 15th feb and main one on 15th March. Its good that there is finally a date but one side of their department has been feeding me rubbish information....... oh well!!!!!

I managed to get the Health records today after seven weeks of waiting. What a sham they were. The health visitor must have never written anything down so there were only about four visits recorded. I have had to write another letter now asking them to investigate why records haven't been kept. I went every week to have the children weighed and some times even chat to the health visitor about how unhelpful my husband was being. Its very annoying that they haven't kept records up to date, but i suppose i shouldn't dwell on it.

I spoke to the babies today, YIPPEEEE, and have told my husband that he needs to let me speak to them more.

There passports have been seized by the court in preparation.

All that is left for me to do is get affidavits from friends and family stating that i always intended to come home to England with the children. The solicitor working for the child abduction case has stated that i will need these.

It does make me wonder about our judical system here. It has been a bit farcical at times but now there is a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Will keep you updated..........Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
bellarama · 23/01/2012 17:14

ps) Thank you for your support as well xxxxx

OP posts:
AmandinePoulain · 23/01/2012 17:39

What an awful situation, I cannot imagine what you are going through Sad.

The only thing that comes to mind that may help you is your children's red books. They will have weight charts to prove that you regularly got them seen by a HV, and there should be notes from every visit and scheduled check up.

All the very best, and good luck x

Original poster
bellarama · 24/01/2012 19:10

Thanks for that AmandinePoulain but you can prob guess who has them........ on a good note i spoke with them for twenty mins on skype. Was very hard and emotional but sooooooo worth it :-)

OP posts:
ScroobiousPip · 15/03/2012 08:50

Hi bellarama, I found your thread last night by complete coincidence and just wanted to say lots of luck for today.

howmuchlonger · 15/03/2012 11:30

Good luck, sending positive thoughts x

Slowcooker123 · 05/08/2012 19:12

Bellarama- Did you get the children back? I've been wondering what happened, please update us all! X

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