HELP!...the stress is making me ill...

[redbaren]

My ex is taking me to court yet again to try to get a shared residency order.

I have only just received confirmation last evening that I am entitled to legal aid and have to go to court tomorrow morning. I was supposed to file my witness statement today but did not feel happy to do so as the lawyer I have now instructed cannot see me because of the christmas period until January 4th! I will therefore be alone in court. I felt I really needed legal assistance in writing it.
I have written to the judge and explained my predicament and tried to get tomorrows hearing adjourned on the grounds that I have not been able to get legal representation in time for tomorrows hearing but this has been refused by the judge. I am terrified as I now have to go tomorrow and explain why I am not prepared and why I have not filed a witness statement.
For my last court appearance I had a Mckenzie friend but I cannot afford to pay him any longer as I have also just lost my job. The Mckenzie friend is now demanding I pay him more money in spite the fact he told me the whole case should cost me £1000 and that he knows I no longer will be using his services because of my entitlement to legal aid. I have to date paid him £550 and for that he's only helped me to the first hearing which was a couple of weeks ago...He wants another £500.

I have fallen ill with all the stress of the court case tomorrow, I don't even have money to pay my mortgage and I am relying on a nearly maxed out credit card just to buy food for myself and my son. Today I felt I was having a nervous breakdown because of the pressure of it all.

Dont know how Im going to cope tomorrow.

Any good tips out there? All will be greatly appreciated!

Thanks

I have no tips, sorry, but just wanted to acknowledge your post and sympathise.
Someone more useful will be here in a moment.
(Mackenzie "friend" sounds a shyster though!)

Are m friends supposed to be paid?? I thought it was expenses only!

Please don't panic. You can explain the situation to the Judge when you are in court. I was also refused an adjournment on the grounds I had not had time to take legal advice.

On the day I don't believe I was disadvantaged by not having representation The hearing was for a variation to the original order. The Judge did tell us that he had formed a view on the case and wanted us to reach agreement, one suggested by himself. I was very grateful, but the other party would not back down and it went to a contested hearing. No-one had representation and to be honest it was not nearly as bad nor as nasty as previous hearings had been.

Having said that, at an earlier "final" hearing I would not have coped without a barrister, who was paid for by sympathetic family members. The solicitor agreed her fee with me and stuck to her quote despite undertaking far more chargeable hourly work. It very much depends on what type of hearing you are attending.

I don't have any legal experience, I only have life experience of the family courts and someone should come along who can offer you advice rather than a personal experience.

I think you sound very low and defeated and need support. I don't like the sound of your McKenzie friend at all, who seems to be making the situation worse for you.

I wish you luck tomorrow.

Ok, try not to panic too much.
Set out witness statement.
1: Case No
2: In the case of ie DCs
between x - applicant
and y respondent

Everything needs to be seen through the eyes of DCs and their interests.
Quick background - you may have this from earlier statements.
What is in place now.
What issues you have.
What you propose the court should do
ie get cafcass reports, psych report.
And any correspondence re issues with ex ie police SS, GPs. So outside evidence not hearsay ie he says, I say.
What you propose instead of shared residence.
Btw it is up to 50:50 but can be any proportion.
PM me if you need support

Junior barrister foe each hearing for me central London cost 350 surely better than unqualified Mckenzie friend !?

But don't panic just state your position clearly .

My exp unrepresented and off the walll not with it was given time to express his views

Why are you against shared residence?

Either way a judge will expect you to follow the orders of the court. The fact is plain and simple in that you have not done it. This might not have been done because you have a weak case to deny 50/50 or there could be GENUINE reasons. It's up to a judge to decide what constitutes genuine.

As others involved in courts here will know judges take a very unkind line to paperwork not being filed... Likewise your ex I have no doubt will now be saying that you have deliberately not filed this because you are wanting to prolong the process. And in the vast majority of cases (and I speak from professional, advisory and personal experience here) failing to file requested documents to the court is a common tactic by LIPs and solicitors to stall a process.

Generally I wish you luck but I hope you are denying shared care on reasonable grounds and the interests of your and your ex's child.

Hi Riakin

I have not filed evidence because I could not get a lawyer on board in time....
I do not agree to shared residence because;

1. my son does not want any more contact with his father. He is 9.
2. I have filed a C1A regarding the emotional and psychological damage my son is experiencing from his father.
3. My ex subjected me to domestic violence. There are signs that he is now subjecting his new wife to the same treatment. My son is witnessing this.
4. My ex takes him to school late on many of the occasions he is with him.

Hope this answers your questions.

thanks

redbaren

Does not want any contact
Or does not want any more than he has already ?
How much does he have at present ?

You need to state all the above reasons.
Ask for a cafcass report.
Suggest what you want ie maintain the status quo until full report is done.
Do everything in triplicate:
For you, for judge, for ex. Double spaced.
The court process will happen and as riakin says not doing something on time will annoy the judge. They want facts and then they can work from those.