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Legal matters

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Original poster

Advice on representing myself in family court

12 replies

newbabynewmum · 15/12/2011 18:55

Brief outline. My legal aid has been held up & I'm in court Monday so have to represent myself:

-was in court approx 3 months ago for the first time
-my DD is 14mo. Used to see her dad at a contact centre - organised by my solicitor.
-that shut he took me to court
-he got awarded 1.5hrs per Saturday in a controlled playbarn type environment where I sit in the cafe & he plays etc with DD.
-we offered 3hrs totally unsupervised 3 Saturdays out of 4
-he's declined & won't put off the court eventhough he knows I will be representing myself

So. Any advice? Do I have to take certain things? Or just turn up and talk? I'm going to take the letter saying I had offered him increased contact but he declined.

I just need some reassurance basically.

Also. Last time we were in court CAFCAS only spoke to him not me. When given a copy of their report everything he said was lies (that he wasn't violent, we werent planning on being in a long-term relationship ever, that I needed help from him to learn to be a mum) - can I do anything about this?

Sorry it's so long! Thank you for reading x

OP posts:

cantfindamnnickname · 15/12/2011 19:11

If he is represented you should find that his Solicitor will talk to you and see if matters can be agreed. If they are not then you go into the Court room and let them explain what has happened so far - why you are there on that occasion - what the CAFCASS report says - if there is one?
Then you get to say your bit - if you dont agree then it will be set down for a contested hearing and hopefully you can get legal aid sorted in time.
Why is your legal aid not sorted?
Is there a CAFCASS report?
Has there been a fact finding on the violence?

Original poster

newbabynewmum · 15/12/2011 19:17

-There is a CAFCASS report but there's nothing from me in it.
-I've not even heard of fact finding about violence, what is that?
-they've sent back my legal aid & made me reapply. My solicitor said they've had lots of people's returned at the moment - they're trying stop as many people having legal aid at the moment.

Thank you for your reply x

OP posts:

cantfindamnnickname · 15/12/2011 19:20

If there has been significant violence then the Court would ask for (not always though) a fact finding to determine whether violence took place or not. Then the Court consider the issue of contact.

Your Solicitor can grant legal aid of their own back if there is a hearing within 3 weeks and you qualify financially - unless you have already got a certificate and its bein questionned.

CAFCASS report should have spoken to you as well - did they not visit you at home and speak to children? Is it a safeguarding letter or a full report?

You can have a MacKenzie friend to go into Court with you - basically anyone you want but they are not allowed to speak - they are basically there to hold your hand.

Original poster

newbabynewmum · 15/12/2011 19:26

I think my legal aid certificate is being questioned.

I'll have to digout the Cafass thing. It wasn't very big though. They said they tried to ring me - I'm a teacher so can't answer my phone in the day - they didn't leave a voicemail or anything so I couldn't have rang them back.

I've seen that about taking a friend thanks. Do I have to tell the court in advance? I would like to do that I think.

OP posts:

brandysoakedbitch · 15/12/2011 19:36

I would advise against a finding of fact case unless you have third parties watching you getting slapped about you cannot win - have just been here myself. MY Ex just held the line, she is lying she is lying and I was not successful - I did have a lot of people to write to the court eg. teachers and stuff and doctors but only one Police report and one visit to the Docs and that was not enough. Also fundamentally it will make no difference to how your DD is treated and unless you have unlimited time and energy try to give it a miss. Our finding of Fact was requested by a Family Psych because my Ex failed all the Psychometric tests because he lied so much - and still I lost.

You can request that the CAFCASS report not be admitted into the file until it is complete - not talking to the Mother makes it incomplete and I fail to see how this can be classed as having any validity until they have spoken to both parties.

The other thing is to write to the court and ask for the hearing to be delayed until such time as you have representation - if the delay is not your fault you should stand a good chance of getting this.

And be nice, try not to cry. I made the mistake of having emotion in court and have paid a high price - the Judge classed my upset as verbal outbursts so please do try and keep a cool head. Make notes before you go in and take nots as it goes on - gives you something to do apart from having a record.

cantfindamnnickname · 15/12/2011 19:50

Take someone in with you - just tell the usher when you turn up that you have a Mackenzie friend.

Ask for a further report to be carried out - its not complete if if doesnt talk to you or meet with your children.

I agree - stay calm and try not to get upset.

Have you phoned LSC yourself to try and get certificate reinstated

cestlavielife · 15/12/2011 22:26

What is he asking for ?
More than the hours you offered?

If you happy meeting him in public place then probably it could be assumed the risk of violence to you is relatively low ie you feel ok in public place.

I have felt ok in public place with exp recently eg school fair but when he has been at his worst I would not feel safe even in public place.

And if you offering unsupervised you must feel he is ok?

So what is he asking for ?

Original poster

newbabynewmum · 15/12/2011 22:41

He hasn't told me what he wants. I presume if he's rejecting my offer of 3hrs then he wants more.

I feel like the jump from 1.5hrs - 3hrs is big enough for my DD. she's only 14months. I don't want to do too big a jump in contact time - a slow and steady increase.

OP posts:

Original poster

newbabynewmum · 15/12/2011 22:42

I didn't know I could phone the LSC - will try that tomorrow. And I can ring the courts directly then and ask them to put the date back? I'll also do that too.

Have got a Mckenzie friend sorted out so that's good thank you x

OP posts:

cestlavielife · 15/12/2011 22:53

I think if you go in offering a slow and steady increase over time you will look more than reasonable...

Original poster

newbabynewmum · 15/12/2011 22:57

That's my hope cestlavielife :)

OP posts:

battlingobesity · 26/12/2011 22:36

Sorry to highjack this thread but I wasn't allowed my Mackenzie friend. The usher told me it was a private matter (I have applied for divorce due to STBXH's abusive behaviours, he has since applied for a SRO and that was why we were in court) and noone else was allowed in. So STBXH had his solicitor and I represented myself and had no support. His solicitor did most of the talking and said some things that weren't true but I was never asked to to reply to it, which really annoyed me. I have to say I felt completely intimidated by the entire experience!

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