Getting official about contact ?

[MrGingleBells]

For the first year of separation with my XP contact with dd who's 3 has been happening. It's been very difficult dealing with my XP but we came to a verbal agreement on access.

However she is increasingly under the impression that it's up to her to 'give' me time with my daughter. ( You'll just have to take my word that I'm a decent, responsible and loving dad ). She even suggested she was 'giving me time' by letting me go to my dd's birthday party.

She's now taken the view that if she can't make the hand over on time ( which has happened every week for two months now ) when I see dd on an arranged weekday morning she'll put dd in nursery all day instead. Despite me suggesting she put dd in nursery for half a day and I see her the other half.

I am loathed to go to court, but this is my daughter and my XP is becoming increasingly unreasonable..

If my XP were to just go ahead and stop me seeing my dd on our arranged day what is the first legal step I should take ?

Sorry I'm pushed for time, but in a nutshell, these are the steps:

1. Write to her putting forward your proposals. Avoid recriminations as this letter may be referred to in statements later.

If unsuccessful:

1. Suggest mediation, providing leaflets, details of fees etc for at least 2 alternative local mediators

If unsuccessful:

1. Download appln for contact form from Court website, complete & send to court with fee (£240 I think). Court will set the matter down for a first appointment when a cafcass officer will try to negotiate between you. If succesful you get your order there and then, if not, adjourned for both of you to do statements and cafcass officer to do a report based on interviews with both of you and any other relevant pple. When report filed, most people with any sense go by cafcass officer's recommendation. If it's disputed, it'll go to a final, contested hearing usually with barristers on both sides costing £££££.

Unless there are allegations of violence, emotional abuse, harassment etc against you (in which case a separate, Fact Finding hearing will take place early on), you're pretty much guaranteed to get contact.

Step 3 is time consuming, hugely expensive and stressful, so try to get her to go with step 2 if at all poss.

Thank you mumblechum1