Can my kids just take them away from me?

[katiee0]

Hi sorry this might be a bit long but i am wanting to leave my partner, i cant cope with him anymore. Hes become very nasty to me lately and now i have his family sending me nasty emails aswell. I just want to get out so my children dont have to listen to it all, they are 14 weeks and 2. My partner sais he can take them and i wont have legal leg to stand on. I know hes wrong and i do have rights just want to make sure exactly what my rights are if he actually does take them. Ive been told the police wont get them back for me? And i wont get legal aid so i wouldnt be able to go through the courts to get them back either? (i have no money to pay for it either) i am scared to leave and would be scared again to let him have them incase he doesnt give them back. Can anyone tell me what he can/can't do and what i can do to stop this happening in the first place?

Sorry i meant in the title can my kids DAD take them away from me

ARe you in the UK?
Sorry to hear you are going through this, especially as your babies are so little.

Of course he can't just take them away from you. Please contact Women's Aid as soon as you can.

Someone will post in a minute with better advice...

In the UK mothers automatically have PR but fathers only have it if they are married to the mother or on the birth certificate. When both parents have PR the have equal responsibility and rights to carry out those responsibilities. If your partner isn't on the birth certificate you can make a PR agreement or he could apply to court where he most likely would be granted it.

When parents can't agree about issues relating to PR, such as where a child should live or which school they are to attend, it is open to either of them to apply for a court order to regulate PR. If you are the children's main carer and your partner actually took the children the police wouldn't get involved but you could apply to court as an emergency to have the children returned. Are you sure you wouldn't qualify for legal aid, or is that just something you've been told? People on low incomes can apply for exemption from court fees.

In England & Wales the Personal Support Unit offers support to litigants in person.

www.thepsu.org

Don't let him bully you Katiee0, which is what he is doing! Have you family or friends to stay with? Get that organised asap & get out as soon as you can. He can't stop you or take the children off you & if he did you'll get them back. Let him apply then for access, etc.

Best of luck with it all.

how nasty is nasty?
call womens aid
record what he does/says
keep those emails - take them to police domestic voilence unit

report to GP/health visitor/to someone what is going on.

He is on both birth certificates, i dont work he works so i do a have the chance to leave when he goes to work, he just dont go to work till the evening time so everywhere is shut and its late. he trashes the house when he gets angry ive lost count how many times the baby gates have been ripped out the walls! thing is he launches it all at me then when calmed down sais he never meant for it to hit me? i know he is aware of what hes doing cus he does say sorry after.the only reason his family are being nasty now is cus his mum put a comment on facebook about me and said i use my kids??? no idea what her problem is with me shes just plain spiteful. but after telling her to piss off (first time ive ever stood up for myself or said anything) ive been getting abuse of them all phonecalls and emails his mum calling me a nasty slapper and all sorts! she saying shel tell my kids when they are older what a slut i am and why they dont have a nan, again she has no reason to ive been with her son long enough. he grabbed me by the throat the other day when i had my baby in my arms, i went to call the police but had to cut the phone of from his mums call first as shes on the other end how daring me! he grabbed the phone off me anyway, if he hadnt of i would have called the police. im just trying to ignore him and not argue with him untill i figure what i need to do. going down the council is my best bet i reckon i just feel so guilty for my son, its coming up to christmas and i just want him to have a happy one, not stuck in some womans hostel with nothing!

Do call Women's Aid, what you are describing is domestic abuse and they are the experts in supporting and advising women in your position, the number is 24/7 and a freephone number - 0808 2000 247.

Yes, call Women's Aid. And no, he can't take your children from you. He is saying that because he knows his behaviour is shocking and is trying to scare you into staying.

Hostels are fine. Really they are. I have been in 2 and they have been better than I imagined

Local council may know of some, or there is women's aid. You can arrange to leave at night when he is asleep

They can send a pre arranged taxi and meet you

Keep a diary of all this. One day you will need it

you need to go and report these incidents to the police because you will need proof -it is clear he and his famoily will get nasty and fight for the dc,
ask a police domestic violence officer to come visit you show them the evidence of damage etc.
next time go to police the next day or when you can to report the assaults.
if you stay there you will get hurt (again).
please go tomorow when he at work to local police station and tell all -they can put marke on your phone so you only ahve to dial 999 and they wil come even if you cant tell them what is happening.
also tell a friend and/or nieghbour so if you text or shout a specific word say "horse" they know to call 999 for you.

tell your neighbour and practice screaming tell them if they hear you scream they to call police

call womens aid they will help tell your gp and health visitor - the only way for you to get out these safely is to seek help.
there are people who will help you move forward and build a happy life for you and dc

You need to report this, If you don't and the police called by a neighbour or someone similar an automatic referral will be made to social services.
However, this may be beneficial to you. You don't have to even talk, I have rung 999 before and not spoke as I knew ex would get even worse, and they could hear him screaming and they just turned up. They would have turned up to my house even without hearing him scream, they always respond to a silent 999 call.
I understand what you are saying about the christmas period, however having one difficult christmas in a refuge is better than watching you get hurt in front of him. That is emotional abuse and extremely damaging to a child.
see link for help and advice, refuge.org.uk/ I hope that helps.