friend stopped from seeing his children. Where does he stand legally?

[sheepgomeep]

A good friend of mine, known him for years has been stopped by the mum from seeing his 9 year old and 8 year old from seeing them (again)

He is mystified as to why, he recently split from his long term gf and was living with his mum and still saw them every week but on a different day due to work committments.

She text him to say that because he can't sort out his own place so he can have them 2 or 3 nights a week and doesnt have the same day off every week then she was telling the girls that HE doesnt want to see them anymore and he will not see them again.

He pays regular maintenance every week into her bank account and has done for years,

He is on minimum wage, works a 40-50 hour week and I don't think hes entitled to mimimum wage.

They have been seperated for 8 years .

This is not the first time either. She will not answer texts, phone calls, or the door and he is desperate now and very upset.

Anything else he could do?

This happened to my DP - his exW withheld contact when DP refused to 'look after the kids' in the way she wanted him to.

Unfortunately, she was so determined to punish him that despite several attempts at mediation, they ended up in family court and the mags awarded contact time to DP.

As a starting point, I would suggest your friend approaches a family mediation service to try and resolve the issue.

Its awful isn't it and not fair at all. And not fair on the children either.

its the same for my friend, he can't look after the kids the way she wants. It doesnt matter if he works irregular shifts (he's tried and tried to arrange his shifts in work but can't)

She stopped him from seeing the girls once in the past because he refused to give up his job on nights and couldnt have the girls on a friday night.

Then he was stopped again for a month because she accussed him of cancelling the maintenance direct debit when he hadn't. It was a bank holiday and the payment was late.

oh I could go on and on but I won't. He was a bit of a git years ago when they were together but the last six years has been great and the girls love him.

ok, he's worried about the legal cost, he can't afford solicitor fees

He could self represent

Google 'families need fathers' a good organisation who will help him every step of the way!

Mediation is means tested in the same way as legal aid - so he might get lower fees if not totally free.
However, if he does end up with court ordered contact, it is likely to be on a regular schedule which is unlikely to fit in with an irregular shift pattern.

His work have said they will only accept a contact agreement if its done through the courts and has written proof

Given her behaviour and the demand from his employer I think the only choice is to get a contact order. As SaraSidle suggests, he could self represent.

tell your friend to head over to www.dadtalk.co.uk and look at the forums there under Legal Eagle... they are always able to give good advice.

sheepgomeep. My H also works shifts which makes it impossible to have set days a week. He had absolutely no problems with the Judge ordering a more flexible schedule of contact as long as he can provide those shifts as much in advance as possible. The Judge agreed, he needed his Job to live and support his families (including child maintenance) and a schedule with the same days every week were pointless if he was working and the children go weeks without seeing their Dad because of it. His work also refused flexible working, because they have a right to.

I second contacting Families Need Fathers. See if he has a local meeting he can attend for advice on where to go from now. The first step would be suggesting mediation and reintroduction of contact via email/letter (recorded delivery). Unfortunately, if she refuses or ignores him, then the final step is applying to court for a court order. He can represent himself at a lower cost but FNF can help with support during the court case.