Hi
I have not posted for a few weeks or so but I saw another thread and I would appreciate some advice hopefully to put my mind at rest.
I solely owned/ financed (mainly with parental help) / paid all bills for our home throughout the course of our on-off marriage over a period of over 10 years. Moved three times though during the marriage. Pre-DC he only lived with me for short bursts of time and was mainly finding it too much and buggering off back to his mother's home abroad where he worked or claimed benefits for long periods of time. When I was about to have DC1 he came back to live and make a go of it.
For property bought prior to current one, I had a type of post-nup drawn up in which he was advised independently and signed away rights to sale proceeds. I hated that house from the word go so I had bought, sold & moved into current home all within one year. This time round, I asked the solicitor for a deed thingy but I think he said that the courts would decide even though I explained that the marriage was always rocky etc.
Eight years later, he physically abused SN DS (age 6) while we lived abroad for around a month - was pretty bad and escalating dangerously - we escaped behind his back as we were treated like prisoners there by DH and his family (later documented by SS who advised he would not get direct contact). Solicitor said that due to the no-order rule I could not get RO/PSO
DH moved stuff out of our home back in the UK saying that he had no intention of returning or being a family so I changed the locks. He initiated talk of divorce (I have filed for it in the UK) , he has been awarded a spacious council flat in his native country (pre-marriage had lived in a similar but smaller in same town). He wont give anybody the address for this as he is pretending to be homeless/ living at his brothers- presumably to bolster his case.
DCs and I returned home to UK after the month of hell in his country but now he is insinuating that he will stake a claim on my house even though he always told me he would never do that/ it was my headache etc. He was never employed in UK, contributed nothing to family life ever other than leaving us deeply traumatised by his callousness.
My solicitor says that it will end up in court for sure but I may have to pay him to get rid. I feel that this is deeply unfair. He is financially reckless. Any money he ever laid his hands on was spent on overgrown teen / playboy lifestyle well beyond his means. Has never saved up for anything serious. Complete cad.
Due to DS SN I cannot envisage ever returning to my pre-DCs high-powered career - my care of him around school hours is not substitutable and it may well continue into adulthood. I was hoping that at some point, we would have downsized to finance quality SN education but instead it looks as though I'll have to see my hard earned money frittered away by an insensitive and unrealistic vile man. How can I stop this from happening? If I cant, how much would I likely end up paying out and out of what source of income given that there is next to none?