Uncommunicative/unreasonable Ex-Wife

[ILoveMrTumble]

Please help, to cut a very long story short my DH is trying to resume contact with his DC's but his Ex-W will not allow this even though there is a contact order in his divorce (6 years ago).

We have had contact with the children, with them staying over every weekend until the end of last year.

After a big disagreement with DH and Ex-W, she had decided she no longer wants DC's to have any contact with their father (DD14 and DS6).

DH had a private maintenance agreement (of a considerable amount) for all this time also paying out for extras. Ex-W thought she was missing out so went to ths CSA for more. With CSA's calculations it actually worked out less until Ex-W stopped DC's having contact with their father every weekend so now DH pays extra for the privilage of NOT seeing his DC's, but now pays the same as before with the private agreement.

DH any myself don't really care about the money we just want to have contact with his DC's. We have thought about a solicitor but cant afford it (we have DC's of our own) and more than likely not entitled to Legal Aid as will have been to seek the advise of CAB. We are aware of a 'penal notice' but £200 for a judge to tell you, you have a case is ok if we were to have a spare £200 floating around but we unfortuately dont.

Why should DH have to pay a solicitor thousands of pounds to see his own DC's?

DH has tried ringing/texting/emailing Ex-W to try and sort this out but she will not reply.

Please can somebody help this has gone on for long enough!

I'm sorry i have no advice other than to say what a mercenary bitch to deny the children contact with their dad just for more money, which is clearly waht has happened here.

It's a cautionary tale for DP and I as he has over paid for the past 3 years as he pays the full amount as if he didnt have any contact even though we have DSD 3 or 4 nights a week. We keep saying we should go through CSA but god i'd rather lose the money than lose DSD.

How sad, for everyone involved. What a low individual.

DH's Ex-Wife is very bitter, im not sure why (i am not the cause of their divorce).

There are other factors involved to which she has lied about and got caught out!! Maybe its the case of the embarrassment/guilt of being found out and trying to hurt my DH but in turn hurting DC's more which is not right!

Even if he's acting for himself, if he can't even afford £200 for the court fee (I think it might be slightly more than this) then he has no remedy. He can apply for exemption from fees and should download a fee exemption form from the court service website.

He really has to take it back to court. No point asking for help otherwise.

Just read the above. Final sentence comes across as a bit too blunt. Not meant to be.

I know this sounds trite, but could he add his daughter on facebook? It keeps the lines of communication open.

Try Families Need Fathers for advice on how to represent himself in court. He will have to save up the initial £200 for the court application though.

If you can't afford £200 you might qualify for Legal Aid. It's worth talking to a solicitor, isn't it? Most initial consultations are free and I can't see how else you'll make progress. Or could family help out with the £200? What about your DH's parents?

Already added DD to facebook but she is rarely on there.

DD has started coming round after school for 1-2 hours 1 day a week in the last couple of weeks but still no contact with DS.

DH has spoken to DD about what has been going on only to find out DD has been feed a load of lies by Ex-W ie DH has stopped paying maintenance which has definately not happen and other things too which she was very surprised about because why would her mum lie?

We are trying to get some money together but with 3 other DC's very difficult at the moment. We already have the forms to take this to court, but who's to say she will comply with what the court has said.

Like i said its very difficult as Ex-W tell DC's only what she wants them to hear/know whether its the truth of not. (She has been caught out several times by contradicting herself). Im disgusted to say she even rang SS and made up a story, to which SS investigated (quite rightly so) they immediately closed the case after realising she wasnt being truthful with them either :(

We have done nothing but try to help this woman in anyway we can so why is she being like this?

There is a Stepparent forum and you could also post there for advice. I would recommend FNF. Sadly parent alienation is reasonable common and it will hurt the DCs in the long term. Do the children have mobile phones that your DH can maintain contact with them ?