Have posted this elsewhere but was advised to try the post here too if anyone could help it would be appreciated :)
Link to original thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/what_would_you_do/1166154-Dont-know-what-to-do?msgid=24207924#24207924
Hey all, I'm new to mumsnet and could really do with some advice from people that don't know me as my friends will only try and cloud my judgement if I was to discuss it with them.
4 years ago I left my ex partner the father to my eldest 2 children due to domestic violence. I was with him for 4 years and a good 3 years of that was abusive. For the past 4 years he has chased me all over the country, he has stated quite clearly he wants me dead as he thinks he will get custody of the children.
4 years ago social services put a safe guarding agreement in place to stop him from going near the children. At this point the children were also placed on the child protection register despite the fact that I wasn't living in the area. When they did the transfer in conference no social worker ever bothered to turn up the children were kept on by new area for 3 months and then removed with no concerns.
In June 2009 I went back to the county that I came from originally (I thought it would take him longer to find us as he thought I was about 300 miles away) The children started school in the September within 3 weeks he had located us again, and I had social services on my doorstep! My children were put back on the child protection register! Every meeting they sit there and say they have no concerns over my children but yet they wont remove them!
Everytime he has found us we have been forced to go into refuge, which is where we are again currently (have been here since October).
I have changed our names by deed poll twice already, his mother works within the NHS, his mothers best friend (although I don't know her name) works for social services, and his fathers best friend works for the police. I am aware due to him telling me in emails and such like that he is accessing my information through these people.
The problem that I have now is that I am in a refuge 300 miles away from where I was the social services case is still with the area that I am previously from. My homeless application has been made in the area that I am in and I have been offered a house in this area too however it is not available until the end of the month.
Social services are refusing to transfer the case until I have a tenancy, which means they will hold my new address which obviously they would be able to access so it is only going to be a matter of time before he appears again.
If I move into the house the only option I will have is to go onto the exchange list and hope that something comes up quickly so that they don't hold the correct address for me.
But my dilemma sits with this, I have the opportunity to go to Ireland I have friends out there who have offered to put me up until I have sorted myself out over there. Another friend has told me that if i go over there then social services won't be able to touch me, nhs number etc will all go so I wouldn't be able to be found out there.
To me this feels like running away and makes me look guilty when I have done nothing wrong and have nothing to hide, but at the same time it seems like an amazing opportunity, the chance to start again to not be found again, to put some roots down for the children, get them into school (have been homeschooling since October) and give them some stability.
My head is a mess I don't know what to do, I know the right thing to do by the law is to stay here and have the case transferred and then have the children removed from the register (social workers here have been seeing the children regularly since i have been up here and have said they have seen no reasons for them to be on there and that they want the case transferred so they can be removed) but that is only going to happen if social services there have my new address which puts me at risk
I dont know what to do :(