Need to get a divorce but don't know where he is

[justwannabefree]

Could someone please help me? I split up with my H 21 years ago and moved back to my parents after he knocked me out and stamped on me. He was an alcoholic. Shortly afterwards our marital home was repossessed but the sale covered all costs so we didn't owe the bank anything. He then disappeared (he was using drugs by this point) and I lost all trace.

I have been with my current partner for 18 years and when our first DC was little I tried to trace the H to get divorced. The solicitor at the time traced him and got him to fill out some forms but I didn't get any further because it had cost £100'S up to this point and I ran out of money as I was SE and not getting much work.

He then went to a solicitor himself and started proceeding through legal aid. He sent some papers to my parents address which I signed but then he just ran out of steam and nothing further happened.

The process has been in limbo for about 10 years. I am not working as I am SE and there is not much work at present and I am a carer to my oldest DC but my partner works. I have been told I cannot get legal aid due to my partner's earning. I need to know the easiest, cheapest way to finally sort this out. I only have the address for my H from 10 years ago. There were no children and no financial ties after the house went. Thank you for any help you can give.

No experience to offer BUT goodness I hope you find him! Good luck

Some private investigators will offer a cheap tracing service. The court can order government agencies to reveal his address to the court too. If you have literally tried every possible way to track him down without success then the court might allow the petition to be advertised, but that is very unusual.
Join 192.com and see if you can track him down through that. Contact his friends and family to find out if they know where he is.

I would suggest going to your local County Court and asking if they have any advice. They might have a leaflet on how to apply for a divorce when the other party's whereabouts are unknown. I hope they can help - it's not an unusual situation.

If you don't get any help there, then maybe try CAB.

All county court forms are on the web. You're also going to get told the same as I've posted above if you go to the CAB. I do a session there once a month. They can't act for you, and can only give you guidance. If you do get to see a solicitor they won't have the relevant professional rules book with them. Go to you local central library and look up the "family court practice".

You could try the Salvation Army, they are good at finding missing people. They found my Ex (similar circumstances) after a PI failed.

Thank you all very much. I will look at the court forms and 192.com. Hopefully he may not have moved. He was in a very bad way when he applied for legal aid healthwise so its possible he may have passed on. I should check that too. Thanks again for your help.

From a legal point of view (Lawyer and law lecturer) if you have no idea where he is and have not heard from him for 5 years you can obtain a divorce based on 5 yrs separation without consent. The legislation for this harks back to the days when men went to sea and were missing but not pronounced dead so the wives could remarry.

As long as you are able to show the court that you have tried to trace him then you will succeed. However, if you think he is being evasive you can ask the court to accept substituted service of the petition, this can mean either leaving the docs with a relative and advertising in the local paper to where he lives or other methods.

if you check with the CAB and perhaps make a £5 appt with any solicitor you will have this confirmed.

First of all, write to his old solicitor with a letter to be passed onto your ex and then wait for at least 6 weeks for any reply. Also ask his solicitors if they have a forwarding address for him and tell them why you need it. if they don't then you only need try to trace him by asking around etc, the courts do not expect you to expend great sums of money tracing exes. Good luck