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Original poster

Scary tax credit letter - anyone else had one?

42 replies

StuffingGoldBrass · 11/02/2011 23:10

OK it looks a fairly standard letter asking me if I have acquired a partner and forgotten to tell them (which I haven't).
BUT there's a long list of ways in which you 'might be considered to be a couple' and one of them is 'You socialise as a couple/family'.
DS dad is not my partner. He doesn't live with me and DS, he has a home of his own, he doesn;t pay our bills, though he does give me money informally time to time (he is freelance) for DS, and looks after DS and stays here sometimes.
But we are not a couple. We do not date, or have sex, or behave towards each other in any romantic/sexual way; both of us occasionally date or have sex with other people...
I just find that definition of couplehood very unnerving.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 11/02/2011 23:11

there was another post tonight about this sgb....called 'tax credits'

GypsyMoth · 11/02/2011 23:12

bumped it for you...in money matters

OhForBoonessSake · 11/02/2011 23:14

they really consider socialising with someone as being in a couple???? oh dear, then i am doing a lot of dating with a lot of people!!

GypsyMoth · 11/02/2011 23:19

its as if they think you cant remain amicable with your ex!! and if you do you must still be a couple!

OhForBoonessSake · 11/02/2011 23:21

it's so they can give you less money.

JeremyVile · 11/02/2011 23:22

Oooh... Not had this letter (as yet) but would be a bit freaked by it for exactly the same reasons as you.

GypsyMoth · 11/02/2011 23:22

were you scared by it sgb?? i really cant imagine that Grin......

Original poster
StuffingGoldBrass · 14/02/2011 10:37

Tiffany: Well I am v broke with debts so having my money cut would be a real problem.

I have been trying to get through to them on the phone this morning but it is constantly engaged.

OP posts:
RealityIsKnockedUp · 14/02/2011 10:41

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Littlefish · 14/02/2011 10:45

Reality - to me, that sounds like they are a couple.

If "Barry", only spends one night a week away from "Gail's" house, then I would consider him to be living there.

redismyfavourite · 14/02/2011 10:46

Whilst there is a wide range of what cold be considered "socialisation" - I'm not sure why the example you quote is madness, Reality?

the bit where it says Barry returns to his mum's one night a week - this implies that he is spending 6 nights a wek with Gail (and, as they are going out, I guess the implication is they are sleeping together).

surely this is practically living together, in all but name? he is (hypothetically, natch) spending all his time with Gail, eats there, sleeps there, and they socialise together. he sees his mum once a week to pick up hs post.

don't see why it is madness they should make a joint claim?

Original poster
StuffingGoldBrass · 14/02/2011 10:46

Shit, this is worrying me now. DS dad stays overnight some weekends when I am out at a party or whatever - his flat is a mess so it's better for him to come over here to see DS. We have family outings on occasion. But we are not a couple and have never considered ourselves a couple.

OP posts:
Littlefish · 14/02/2011 10:49

But SGB - the fact is that he is at your house when you are not there - ie. he is looking after ds.

Do you stay out when he stays there, or do you come back and stay as well?

RealityIsKnockedUp · 14/02/2011 10:49

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redismyfavourite · 14/02/2011 10:49

sorry, meant to add - that is nothing like SGB's example.

where she recievies (occasional) maintenance payments for her ds (not formalised as they are happy with this - HMRC might want bak statements to show it is not regular, or to prove amount, I guess), and her ex occasionally stays over.

I think the implication form HMRC in the socialisation stakes is if you are socialising as couple/family more than socialising as a single person

limpingbint · 14/02/2011 10:49

I had one of these and called and spoke to a really nice bloke and explained our situation. From his point of view, the tipping point was that he had another address, had nothing registered at my address and other people did not regard us as a couple....

I was crapping myself too but honestly, it was fine

pinkmagic1 · 14/02/2011 10:53

If you are not living together I really wouldn't worry about it.

RealityIsKnockedUp · 14/02/2011 10:53

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Littlefish · 14/02/2011 10:54

Reality - he's there 6 nights out of 7. How is that "not living there".

By that token, my dh doesn't live here!

lightermornings · 14/02/2011 10:58

They send it out every year don't worry.

RealityIsKnockedUp · 14/02/2011 11:00

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redismyfavourite · 14/02/2011 11:01

agree with littlefish on this one - my dh is way at least one night each week (often more)

and we have a second property that he stays in when away at these times.

so I guess we don't live together?!

RealityIsKnockedUp · 14/02/2011 11:05

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mamatomany · 14/02/2011 11:06

They are clamping down hard on these situations, the old three night rule is complete rubbish but the clincher is the financial link, if HMRC do a experian credit check on you and can link you financially then you are a couple end of story.

RealityIsKnockedUp · 14/02/2011 11:13

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