Access Issue

[AlbertLM]

A question for the knowledgeable folks on this forum.
My friend has separated from her husband and the divorce is going through now. He has the children (aged 8 and 10) one night a week and every other weekend.
About two weeks ago he asked if she could look after the children on the Saturday of his weekend (tomorrow)as he had to attend a major sporting function with his company.
She agreed and arranged that they would perform in a local music festival that day. Last week he said she didn?t need to have the children as his parents were coming down and they would look after them. She explained about the children performing and he agreed for them to go to that with her.
Tonight he has now said that as the eldest had misbehaved (Refusing to get off of the telephone with his mother quickly enough) he was not allowing him to partake in the music festival.
He says this is a suitable punishment as it is the thing that the child in question is looking forward to most, although it won't actually be him administering it as he won't be there.
If he follows through and only brings the youngest child, is she within her rights to go and collect him from the grandparents after the father has left?
Thank you.

only the mother and father have PR so grandparents would have to hand child over to whichever parent wanted them

Legally, yes she could do that. I'm not sure if it would be wise, though. She would be undermining her ex's discipline, setting a potentially very troublesome precedent and triggering what would likely be a massive argument.

Would your friend be happy if the situation were reversed? I doubt it. I'd be livid. Can she really not think of any more constructive ways of dealing with this?

OK - he's over reacting. But 2 wrongs don't make a right, and she'd be escalating things by picking him up. Tell her not to do that. Far better she speaks to dad and agrees a suitable other punishment, although he does sound like a bit of a tosser given his reason for wanting to punish the poor child.

He is being a bit of a tosser. Sounds to me like he was using the 'discipline' reason as an excuse to avoid your friend having the children that afternoon. Good that he thinks about discipline but he should have discussed the options of punishment with her before hand.

The father of my children is of a similar petty nature, so I understand only too well!

Thank you very much for all your advice...the matter was resolved in the end. The father texted this morning to say that the punishment still stood and my friend questioned as to why he could not find another punishment which did not affect others, and explained that going to the music festival was good for the child's self esteem, piano discipline and practice for his forthcoming piano exams. The father backed down, the child went to the festival and an alternative punishment was suggested, which by the way has to be administered by my friend...as is obvious to all, this is more about the father exercising control over my friend than actually disciplining the child in question.