Help/ Advice on contact order?

[ad1l74]

Hi all,

I have been divorced for a few years now and my ex lives 250 miles away. He took me to court 2 years ago to obtain a contact order which i feel i was forced into as i couldnt afford a solicitor and was not able to get legal aid. We ended up agreeing to monthly visits. One month he travels up North and picks children up friday evening to sunday afternoon, he stays at his parents 3 miles away. The following month I have to travel on a Friday night on the M6 and M5 in peak hour traffic with my 5 and 9 year old, to Worcester, 128 miles away, meet him kids go with him and do the rest of the journey 125 miles to dorset to his house. We travel back home 125 miles getting home usually around 11pm. We then have to repeat this journey on the Sunday (again a lot of commuter traffic). Meanwhile I have to leave my 13 year old (from previous relationship) at home alone as he does not get home from school until 5pm, and he plays football on a Sunday. I just find it ridiculously unfair. I have never prevented him from seeing his children but I really think he should travel to see them as it is only once a month (32 days a year). Especially whilst they are still so young, the journey for the children is unfair every other month for a short weekend visit. Also, who wants to travel 250 miles after a full week at work? I wonder if I have any chance of getting the contact order changed to him travelling up North for the weekend visits and I dont mind travelling half way when they have their extended weekly visits in the holidays. Can anyone offer any advice regarding changing the Order and if what I suggest is possible? Thanks for reading xo

ok.....so who moved and put the distance between you all??

you can go to court and self rep,families need fathers are very good with helping

Who moved away from the other?

In general, the parent who moves is expected to bear the costs of contact. So if you moved away from him, he is actually being quite generous in meeting you halfway.

Another point to consider before going to court to try and change the order is that he may take the opportunity to argue for more contact.

Hi Thanks all, He was in the Army and we were stationed in Dorset when he had 2 years left we bought a house in cheshire and he commuted at weekends, when we split up he stayed down there and has now bought a house with his gf so he is staying in Dorset. It was always his intention to move back home as this is where we are both from and our families are here but since we split he decided he doesnt want to move back North. He could have been relocated closer to his kids but wanted to stay in the South. I dont mind the contact at all its the gruelling journey, even my 9 year old has said he doesnt want to go to his dads for a weekend visit because of the car journey.

As you were already living apart at the time of the split I would generally expect you to share the costs of contact. Meeting halfway therefore does not seem unreasonable. The fact that he comes the whole way to you for alternate visits means he is already bearing most of the costs involved. It is possible you could get the courts to get him to do all the travelling but I wouldn't bank on it.

It might be worth seeing if you can agree alternative arrangements with him that give him at least as much contact as he gets now but change the pattern so that there is less travelling involved, e.g. fewer weekends and more long visits. Sorting out a compromise with him would be much better than going to court.

Thanks for your help... He is not the reasonable kind but i will give it a go. Cheers x