Sorry to offload on here but I am 8 weeks away from my due date and feeling a little stressed!
My partner and I have a lovely little girl (2) and another on the way. We have both been previously married. Fortunately for me it was a clean break and realtively painless. He, on the other hand, has a very aggressive and demanding ex and a daughter from that marriage (8). It's a complex situation and their divorce was very messy. My partner used to earn considerably more than he does now and when their original court arrangement his payment reflected this. She came out far better in the divorce gaining the house, and all the equity in it etc. (despite never contributing a penny towards it's purchase or upkeep). My DP did not contest this as he wanted his daughter to remain where she was in the lifestyle she was accustomed to and at the school she was happy at. Years have past about 4 now and we have a daughter and another on the way. My DP no longer earns the wage he used to and his payment reduced after we had our little girl.
Anyway, leaving his other daughter broke my partners heart and he has to battle that everyday. Until recently we had his daughter every other weekend and in school holidays. Now, since September, we both work at a boarding school and he works 6 days a week. Half term and Easter this year at our school do not coincide with his daughters this year and his ex has gone bonkers (she has always been on our case demanding money and calling the shots on when we should and shouldn't have his daughter!)She is demanding that he returns to his original payments (which we can not afford as I will be on maternity leave and he is less that half the money he was on a few years ago) and she is refusing to take his calls or let him see his daughter. She says that Sundays when he is not busy is just not good enough and he is a crap Dad and nothing to his daughter. All of this is just stressing me out.
We only see him one day a week as well unless it's the school hols and the Christmas hols we had his daughter for most of it! I am so sad about the whole thing and can't bear the effect that his ex is continuing to have on him. She is engaged to her new partner and has been for 3 years but she seems to want to continue to ounish and manipulate my partner and all this has an effect on me. I just don't feel like I am in control of my relationship at all. 2 days after my daughter was born his ex insisted that his other daughter came to stay so as 'not to feel left out' I was knackered, struggling to breast feed, a first time mum... need I say anymore and it really effected my relationship at the time because I couldn't rely on my partner to give me the support I needed. So here we go again and I just don't have the answers. I know that people with children from previous relationships have to acknowledge that but. What solution can we offer her? He can't give up his stable job to make more time anywhere else he can't work anymore. I can't take another battle with a 3rd party!! Help me please.x