fathers and CSA

[yummymum2]

I'm in a slight predicament as i just don't know what to do with my ex partner. We have 2 DD's together who live with me. The eldest DD stays with him everyother weekend while the youngest sees him everyother sunday.
Since our break up 5 years ago he has been paying maintanace on and off as his jobs have also been very off and on! He has recenetly informed me that he has lost his most recent job of 3 months for which time he hasn't been paying maintanace, and told me he wont be paying until he gets another job (which could be a while). The money he should have paid was going to be collected by the CSA after he presented them with 5 wage slips, which he knew.
The CSA undersatndably say that they cant collect what isnt there but i just don't know what to do anymore! I have never stopped him seeing his DD's or attending school plays etc.
I feel that he has a moral obligation to pay towards his DD's upkeep and seeing as he knew the money would be backdated he should have been putting it a side. Would it be wrong if i stopped him seeing them until he paid up?

yes it would be wrong. contact and maintenance are separate

yummymum2, I completely understand your feelings at the moment. Unfortunately, there isn't an awful lot you can do about the maintenance payments but you should try and keep up good contact with their dad. It is difficult - I've been in similar situation myself but you have to rise above that. Ultimately, children are not stupid and will, when they are older, question why their father wouldn't pay money towards their up keep.
cestlavielife is right that contact & maintenance are separate, but that of course doesn't allow for the anger & let down you are feeling because he won't pay.
Be proud of the fact that you have always promoted good contact with their dad.

"The CSA undersatndably say that they cant collect what isnt there".

Ha, it never stopped them trying with DH - ridiculous sums that bore no relation to his earnings. A tip OP, never make presumptions about what your DH should or shouldn't have been doing with regard to the CSA. They are a law unto themselves, and there are two sides to every story.

You should still be able to enforce the maintenance arears. I'm assuming that you notified the CSA of a change in circumstances and they wrote to him straight away? They can get the info from HMRC if necessary, but they'll be able to do a calculation at least.

Why has it taken the CSA 3 months to try and collect the money anyway? Is it not a simple calculation these days? I thought the whole point is that arrears don't build up because assessments keep pace with changes in circumstances. Has nothing changed from the bad old days I experienced?

I can say from personal experience that CSA enforcement is still very variable. My wife has encountered all sorts of problems including bailiffs that don't work evenings and weekends!

You have my sympathy but, as others have said, contact and maintenance are separate issues. If there is a contact order in place the courts will enforce it regardless of whether or not maintenance is being paid. Similarly, if there is no contact order in place the courts would not consider a failure to pay maintenance to be sufficient reason to refuse one.

It isn't the kids' fault their Dad isn't paying. So not fair to deny them the contact whatever you feel about ex.

you can't stop contact,its infringing your dc rights!! as per childrens act!!

they are not 'pay per view'!!

"pay per view"

I like it! Shall use it on some of my more recalcitrant clients.

Yes use it resolution! It fits so many situations! Might make someone think a bit too.

I like to regard any maintenance payments as pure bonus and I do my best to make my income alone enough for me and the children. The best consolation when something like this happens, is to remind yourself that it could be worse. You could still be living with him!