Advice on Wills

[Poogles]

A friend told me a while back that if me & DH both died and did not leave a will our DC would be taken into care while it was decided who would have custody of them (several family members would want to help - we are lucky in that respect) and that DC would not necessarily inherit everything.

This got us thinking that we really ought to have a will for the more practical things (not that we have much to leave!).

Does anyone have advice on what we would need to consider putting into a will and whether we would need a solicitor or will writer (I know the latter got a bad press recently). Also, what costs should we be looking at roughly?

Thanks

If you PM mumblechum she can help you. She recently did mine (similar circumstances - not much stuff, but DS to consider) and she was lovely, professional and not very expensive.

a Solicitor will go through everything with you. I think it tends to be around £180 for a pair of simple mirror wills (if he dies it goes to you, if you die it goes to him, if you both die it goes to the dcs who will live with X and if you all get wiped out it goes to Y)

If you both died, the children should get everything under the intestacy rules, but the question of who would look after them would have to be decided by the courts, I think.

Much better to make your wishes clear, and specify who they should live with, who should be in charge of the money until they reach adulthood, and what age you want to define as adulthood. Really all parents should have a will, even if they don't have much in the way of assets, just to nominate guardians.

I have also seen mumblechum offering very good advice on threads on this subject - I think she is a lawyer turned will-writer.

Thank you all so much! It's one of those things you think you ought to get sorted but seems to slip down the list.

We're still in discussion about who we would want the DCs to go to as there are people from both sides of the family who would expect it to be them for various reasons. All have their plus and minus points!

Will email mumblechum!

You need not decide now who would look after the kids. My wife and I have appointed our fathers as guardians, on the basis that they're the most level headed of our rellies and know they are to convene a family discussion in the event of our death and agree where the kids will best be placed.

I would definitely recommend using a solicitor who specialises in this area of law. they will go through all the possible scenarios with you, discuss what ifs, and generally put your mind at rest. I would say that, at least in DH's experience, that you have to be very wary of will writing companies - they do not have to be fully qualified lawyers. Sme are good, some are properly qualified, some are not. IME ideally a solicitor is the way to go.

Also bear in mind that guardianship is not legally binding - it is an expression of you wishes. Generally these will be followed unless there is a reason not too, but just somethng to bear in mind.

Guardianship is legally binding. It wests parental responsibility in the appointed guardians if there is no one else alive who has PR.

vests.... sorry

Ah right - I believed it wasn't but it seems that you can include a legal guardianship which is binding.Presumably this needs to be agreed wth the people in advance - does it need to be signed by the propised guardians? What happens if the don't wish to do it or feel they can;t when the time comes?

DH can't in at moment so can't ask him for clarification, so hope you don't mind me asking further. Long time since I have done my will, and was pre children. Just remember it coming up at the time as will was made in case of children coming along.

Googe is proving useless as to clarifying this for my own mind. Most sites are saying: Even if you prepare a will or specific legal document dealing with this issue the decision is not necessarily legally binding. But then some sites mention legal guardianship, but then go on to mention what ifs.

Just curious as would be good to know. Need to get this part of our will redone ideally - typical really. Like others with parenters in some form o trade/service - it is always your own that gets neglected!!

Poogles Have emailed you back.

BTW, for anyone who cares I'm a qualified lawyer with over 20 years experience, but you do need to be careful when choosing a will writer, because quite a lot aren't legally qualified, other than having passed exams with a recognised body.

You should also check whether they have indemnity insurance. (I do, btw).

I remember you mentioning you were a qualified lawyer before mumblechum, hence feeling safe to make my comment about will writers in general and just being wary.

The proposed guardians don't need to sign anything, and you don't even need their consent, but it is a good idea to tell them what you're doing(!)

Spoke to DH last night. We have a lot of talking to do re guardians. There are so many things to think about - for example, my sister has children of her own and rents. Our house is owned and is bigger so it would make sense for my sister to move into ours (if she agreed!) but what would happen when the boys come of age? Can they just throw her out or will she hav some rights over the house?

Can we put joint guardians in so that contact with both sides of the family are kept up (live in different parts of the country).

Struggling to get much help from DH - he thinks it's morbid!!

Hi Poogles

So far as the house is concerned, what you could do is grant a right to reside to your sister and her family,conditional on her providing care to your children. You would specify in your will when that right to reside stopped, and I'd suggest your youngest child's 21st birthday or thereabouts.

You'd also need to think about who'd pay the running costs of your house in those circs.

Although you can appoint joint guardians, what I often do is insert an expression of wish that the guardians keep up direct and indirect contact between the children and the other side of the family, as much as practicable in the circumstances.

I think sometimes people procrastinate (understandably) so much about the guardianship bit, which is actually extremely unlikely to ever apply anyway (not that many children are statistically likely to become orphans) that they never get around to making a will which, if they're not married, is absolutely crucial.

It's actually better to make a will and not include a guardianship appointment than not make a will at all imo.