do i have to vary the contact order ? (resolution?)

[cestlavielife]

resolution you said in repsonse to other poster "You are justified in suspending contact, but you must apply back to court as soon as possible to vary the order. You will thereby be seeking the court's approval, which is better for you than him applying to enforce the order."

so...i have suspended contact on matter reported to police. police/social services now come back to say they taking no action as i am protecting the DC having suspended contact. so they confirming i doing right thing. DC dont want to see exP.

so do i have to spend time/money varying order - or can i wait for exP to apply?

i know pre empting would be good but it will just cost more money and time (and all that is taken up with financial hearings at the moment see my other postings!) .

order is for supervised contact with adult agreed by both parties except otherwise agreed - i agreed otherwise ie allowed for unsupervised and it went horribly wrong (in part because i didnt pick up on his MH issues getting out of hand earlier - but as try to do quick handovers i had to rely on info from DC...) .

in principle - i could just apply supervised with adult we both agree to - and as there is no adult i can agree to it's not happening - but the reasons go beyond that really. unfortunately police didnt interview exP as they consider i am protecting them. also, DDS explicit in saying they want zero contact.

also, exP says he is going to get evidence from his MH team/GP this week to give me - (to say he is fine and well?) so i really want to wait to see what that says anyway...

not sure of benefit in spending time/money applying to court to vary the order when everything is in flux?

can i jsut sit and wait for him to apply?
(which he might not as is LIP with no money...original application came from ME as i applied for residence to regularise contact back in 2008)

As I said to the other poster, it looks better for you to apply to vary. If you don't, the father can apply. As you say, your situation is in flux.
Are you sure there is no 3rd party who can supervise? Wouldn't social services agree to supervised contact at a contact centre run by them?

i cans ee the point...really, would be good if father applied - given his history of not turning up at court hearings and not engaging with cafcass previously...

SS dont run a contact centre as such - the local one charges £100plus per session. who would pay?? there is cafcass ones /voluntary run around but v inconvenient to get to across london.

one dd might accept contact centre the other doesnt. DS would prob like to. there may be someone who could supervise his contact...

might pursue psychologists/family therapy unit which is local... exP actually approached them back in June but on basis of what he said they referring to parenting apart courses to focus on communicaiotn between us - [even tho he admitted to the psychologist he spoke to that he had indeed "put his hands around DS neck in 2007") which wont help with practical issue of DC and contact. i've been waiting for them to call me. to present the issues as i see them...

really i need someone who can sit and decide with me and exp where to go now. if he goes to court - all good as we get CAFCASS involvement. but as he didnt want their invovlement before he may not go to court - but will continue to try and get contact via persuasion/bullying tactics...

i will await GP involvement and go from there i think...

You could do with seeing a solicitor about it.

i'll ask solicitor once i've received the GP letter....