Cohabitee legal protection

[NormalityBites]

Before anyone has blood pressure issues, I know there is no such thing as common law marriage, and I know that as cohabitees with no wills, we are crap legally and should be slapped round the heads with a wet fish.

We want to sort out our legal position, and the following is what we need:

• Right to inherit each others property in the event of death.
• Parental responsibility (one child) I am unsure where we stand here.
• To be considered as each others next of kin in the event of medical emergency.

As it is, we are joint tenants on our mortgage and have paid equally, and both have our names on the child's birth certificate. However I also have a yet to be realised inheritance currently tied into a property, and I also have adult dependants, for whom I have LPAs. Which complicates matters.

Is there any way to get all of the above without getting married? Would it require a ton of documentation costly to acquire? I am a little dense in this arena and cannot find anything pertaining to the next of kin issue particularly.

Or should we just get married? (I would, at a push, but we do have this problem that marriage means nothing to me and a lot to him....)

Could anyone help?

You can sort out the inheritance issue by making wills. If one of you decides to change their will however the other wouldn't have an automatic right on their death to apply for reasonable financial provision. A spouse has that right.

How old are the children? If born after 5 December 2003 and he is named on the birth certificate then he already has PR for them. If he hasn't, you can enter into a PR agreement. You may be able to get one off the court service website.

Not sure about 'next of kin' or what that actually means. On a recent thread someone who sounded medically qualified said it meant very little, but I would suspect that only marriage would give you that.

The main thing a marriage or civil partnership gives you is the right to make certain financial claims on breakdown. This is in recognition of the promises made on entering the union to take care of each other financially. For them to be enforceable the state requires that certain procedural requirements are met - hence marriage and CP!

You need to look at inheritance tax, I think everything you leave to a spouse is free of inheritance tax - but if you're not married, then tax would be payable above the threshold, and could force your DP to sell the family home in order to pay the taxman.

Thank you.

DP likes to worry about what would happen if I were on life support etc in the hospital and they called in some of my estranged and not very nice family members to decide what to do, and wouldn't ask him. (He watches too much House) Would this not be the case?

Inheritance tax, well, our assets at the moment would fall significantly shy of that threshold but hopefully neither of us will be heading off the mortal coil any time soon (we are only in our late twenties) but yes, it would be a consideration long term.

don't know much about medical law I'm afraid, but take a trawl through recent threads I think someone posted a reply about this particular issue.

I have been searching but can't see anything so bump!

You ask in your opening post, if you should just get married. As you intend to stay together for ever, I'd say yes.
I am sure there are ways (as explained by legal minds here) to sort out the issues you wish to resolve via solicitors etc, but perhaps it would be a lot cheaper for you to pay the £100 and get married in a no-frills register office package.
I know marriage has all sorts of connotations attached to it that a lot of people disagree with; religious overtones, sexist notions etc but these are things people put onto the institution themselves. All it really is is a way of legally formalising things between a couple and making it clear that they wish to be viewed as a couple.

If it means nothing to you, then I take it that you're neutral about it? If so, just get married, it would make him happy and sort out a lot of issues for you. A win-win situation.

just get married quietly!

unless you have any doubts about the relationship.

I don't have doubts and would get married, but don't like all the stuff attached to it at all - and the problem we have is that he insists marriage DOES mean something and he would WANT to have a day and a ring and fancy outfits and pictures and for me to change my name and all of those things.

Hmm. Maybe I should start an AIBU

What a dilemma re the marriage! The dress, rings DAY! would give me a nervous breakdown too. Re the life support scenario as a nurse who worked in A&E I never came across it personally but I did come across a same sex couple and the partner had no rights! I think you would be in the same position unless you were married/civil partnered.

Everybody is entitled to feel how they feel about marriage-people's headspace is their own!
But, when all is said and done, marriage is essentially a legal/financial transaction.
Realistically, people do not have to be religious, have a huge wedding, or even in love to do it (of course, they usually are!)

I think your dp has to realise that cohabitees are not recognised in law and unless you get married/draw up explicit financial/legal arrangements you're just strangers sharing a home. Blunt but true and this is unlikely to change.

Ask him this: what is more important, fancy hats or legal/financial protection (s)?.
I think the latter.