Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Unmarried couple:legal rights

50 replies

Ephiny · 03/01/2011 15:03

First of all, apologies if this has been asked before many times before!

DP and I have been together about 10 years, lived together about 5. The house/mortgage is all in his name because at the time we got it I had no savings to put towards a deposit and wouldn't have been able to get a mortgage as I had no regular income (I was a full-time student at the time). Since we moved in I've paid half of the mortgage and all other costs like bills, council tax, insurance etc - I give him the money every month and he pays everything as it's all in his name. We don't have any agreement in writing, this is just what we informally agreed to do.

This works fine, but the question is what would happen if we were to split up, or if he were to die - i.e. do I have any legal rights to any share of the house? I think I probably don't, he thinks maybe I do as we're living together 'as though we're married' and I can prove that I've given him regular payments every month which correspond to half his mortgage payments. But Ithink I have fewer rights even than a tenant in a rental property (as there's no contract or written agreement), and if he decided to kick me out and change the locks tomorrow (he wouldn't, but hypothetically!) there would be nothing I could do about it. I know there's no such thing as common-law marriage.

Do I need to make sure we get this all written down and official? Or should we just get married?

OP posts:

scurryfunge · 03/01/2011 15:07

I think you get your name on the mortgage as you have very little protection if you are unmarried. Living together as "common law " wife means nothing at all.

AliBellandthe40jingles · 03/01/2011 15:09

You have no rights whatsoever. It is possible that with effort and with the help of a solicitor that you could claim some share if you split based on your contributions, but it wouldn't be 50/50 or anything close to it.

Getting married would solve the problem in one fell swoop, but in the meantime I would insist on being added to the mortgage.

onimolap · 03/01/2011 15:09

If he dies without making a Will and you are not married, there would be no provision for you - in law you are the same as any unrelated flat-mate.

You should both make Wills anyhow.

Marriage would also protect you if he died without a Will.

Marriage would also make you each other's next of kin.

bb99 · 03/01/2011 15:14

You would (I think) need to go to court and 'prove' your entitlement to the house etc.

Probably easier if you can get your name added to the mortgage. In theory he could sell the house out from under you as well and wouldn't even need to let you know it was on the market IYSWIM (as you're not a part owner of it)

Try Citizens Advice for up to date info.

AliBellandthe40jingles · 03/01/2011 15:14

That is v.true - I think his parents would inherit as they are legal next of kin.
Of course you would hope that they would be kind and pass the property back to you, but you would be relying on their kindness rather than legally inheriting in your own right.

PaisleyLeaf · 03/01/2011 15:21

There might be some useful info for you here and here.

Also, might be worth looking into widow's allowance (I know my mum never qualified for it. Having lived with my dad for 30yrs and not claiming single parent benefits when we were little as they were together she was a bit upset).

miniwedge · 03/01/2011 15:22

You have no rights at all.

If he dies or you split you have no entitlement to a share or occupation of the house. Even if you get your name on the mortgage if he died with no will his half would go to his parents as you are not recognised as next of kin.

If he were in an accident and was on life support you would not have any right to be consulted about his care, his parents or his siblings if they were dead would have the right to decide on treatment etc.

You have three choices.

Get married but you MUST still have a will.

Get a deed of trust drawn up to set out your share if the house, it costs about a hundred pounds from a solicitor and have wills drawn up at the same time.

Have your name added to the mortgage but again, you MUST have a will done as well.

At the moment you have less rights than a lodger with a tenancy agreement.

Original poster

Ephiny · 03/01/2011 15:36

Thanks for replies and links, seems like it's more or less as I thought.

He is a good person and so are his parents, so most likely they would treat me fairly whatever happened, but don't really want to rely just on that, as I know how nasty things can get when relationships break up. Can't imagine it ever being like that for us, but I suppose no one can until it actually happens!

We've put off getting married as neither of us is keen on weddings and the associated family drama, and don't feel any need to make public declarations of love/committment etc. But I'm increasingly thinking a quick, simple registry office ceremony, sooner rather than later, would be a good idea...

OP posts:

FlyingSquirrel · 03/01/2011 15:43

A mner went with her dh and dcs to the registry office to get married, and kept it so low key they roped in another mner or two as witnesses!

Do that - then send all and sundry a nice card saying 'we got married'.

Anyone who gets the arse can be reminded that when they get/got married, they did it their way, and so you've done it yours.

NorkilyChallenged · 03/01/2011 15:50

actually you can even go and get married and not bother telling anyone "we got married" if you like. Will deal with the legal situation, keep it lowkey and change nothing in your day-to-day lives (which seems to be the situation you are in).

robino · 03/01/2011 17:16

I'm the mner who went and got married with two other mners as witnesses. You lot are still the only people who know! Legal situation dealt with, wills done too. And this is the second thread today where it's been mentioned!

PinkElephantsOnParade · 03/01/2011 23:52

I once worked with a woman in your situation, had 3 kids with her partner, house was in his name only as he owned it before they met.

He decided one day that the relationship was over. He threw her, the kids and their stuff out on the pavement. Nothing she could do, she had absolutely no claim on the property.

She thought her relationship was solid as well.

Never rely on other people's goodwill for your financial security.

singingcat · 03/01/2011 23:55

Get married in the registry office, quick do, bish bash bosh. At the moment you have no rights. He could kick you out and change the locks if he wanted (sure he won't!) and if he died you wouldn't have any rights to everything.

Honestly, get married. You don't have to do the big white wedding thing. At the moment you have no security.

PaulaYates · 04/01/2011 00:01

some of you make marriage sound so 'unloving'

as a unmarried and proud woman -I would sayy nip to the solicitors,chat it through and jobs a god 'un. I am protected - as is dp - no need for a quickie wedding we do not really want

singingcat · 04/01/2011 00:02

Solicitors more expensive than wedding

Marriage can be a lovely, cuddly, wonderful thing but is also a damn handy legal contract.

Resolution · 04/01/2011 00:15

The first thing you should do is get some kind of written acknowledgement from him that you contributed to the mortgage on the understanding between the 2 of you that you own half the equity in the property. This alone will give you a lot of security. Far better though to get a proper deed of trust drawn up. singingcat I hope was tongue in cheek with her first sentence - should be really cheap to get this drawn up now, as opposed to £5-10k to take it through court if you split up.

PaulaYates · 04/01/2011 00:30

signingcat ours was a couple of hundred

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 04/01/2011 10:01

Paula - there is nothing unloving about marriage, I wouldn't have married DH if I didn't love him.

But the fact remains that it is the best and most loophole free way for a woman to ensure that she is financially secure in a relationship. If she has children, and certainly if her career development has been slowed by having those children, then she should be making sure that she is as secure as possible.
If you love someone and plan to be together forever and have a family, then I really cannot understand why people don't get married.

marantha · 04/01/2011 10:11

Do not understand the idea that love and legal protection do NOT go hand in hand. Of course they effing do! If you love someone and wish to spend rest of life with them, surely you want them to have some form of financial protection?
Sick to death of argument that marriage is just a piece of paper, it is a very, very important thing for those who wish to communicate to the law/authorities that they wish to be seen as a lifelong couple in all areas of life.

If a couple do not do this (marriage), it is not good enough to say 'oh but we are a couple' in event of break-up/death- how the heck is anybody outside the relationship know this for certain?! They aren't psychic.
Get married, it'll make things much simpler for you. Failing that, see a solicitor and get arrangements drawn up properly on paper in black and white.

marantha · 04/01/2011 10:14

Oh and 'house in his name' are weasel words in my opinion. 'In his name' means HIS house.

marantha · 04/01/2011 10:15

Not that I'm criticising anyone for using them, please don't think that, but it does convey impression that house is somehow equally owned when it's not.

haggis01 · 04/01/2011 11:30

I am in a similar situation. Since you can show you are contributing to mortgage you have a claim . Even if you are a sahm and not on the deeds/mortgage as I was when we sold our house I had to sign a legal document allowing the house to be sold and saying I would not make a claim on it, so you do have some recourse if things go wrong - but you would need to involve solicitors.

When we bought a new house I made sure we were both put on the deeds (you can also be named on mortgage). My DP told me that since I didn't work I couldn't be on mortgage but that is not true so I am also on it.My DP refuses to get married (even though it would just be simpler for tax and death issues)and so we both took out term insurance that would more than cover the mortgage (and IHT if we fall into that bracket)so that if either of us dies the other will have enough money not to lose the house ( I have read stories of women having to sell up as the mortgage company will not allow them to take over DP's mortgage if their income is small).

PinkElephantsOnParade · 04/01/2011 11:34

haggis - making a financial contribution would give you a theoretical claim but enforcing it would be prohibitively expensive.

Best to get everything straight as you have done. A comprehensive will is essential in this case. Unfortunately a lot of unmarried couples never get these things sorted out properly as they see it as "unromantic".

You can't get much more unromantic than being dumped on the pavement with 3 DCs though.

marantha · 04/01/2011 12:19

I agree that it would be possible for you to have some claim on property if you have contributed to mortgage as things stand, however, the key issue is that you would have to prove it and you would be no different from a friend who had contributed to mortgage.
The fact that you've brought up children together in a relationship would count for nothing- in the financial affairs of unmarried people, the courts are not obliged to take into account the interpersonal relationship of the couple.
Saying, 'But we were in love and brought up children', would count for nothing.
The onus would be on you to make a claim and the cost of hiring legal representation may negate the money you actually get at end.

PaulaYates · 04/01/2011 21:58

does anyone know how one goes about fighting to have a heterosexual civil partnership??

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread