Custody Questions- Urgent advice please

[chocogirl77]

A friend of mine is thinking of leaving her DH, long story but he and his family have treated her appallingly.

DH has already threatened to ask for full custody of her son, and her MIL currently looks after DS 2 days a week whilst she works. As her DS is only 15 months old, what are the chances of her husband getting majority custody in this case, and should she make alternative arrangements for childcare before she leaves?

Thanks for any advice .

She MUST take her son with her, or the DH will be assumed the primary carer and the courts will not rock that boat.

If she is already the primary carer, and she takes her son, then the courts will not rock that boat.

HOWEVER>

Will the MIL hand the son straight over to his dad? because if the husband TAKES the son, and won't give him back, then without a court ordered residency order, he will then be assumed to br primary carer and she will have l;ost him for good.

So I would stop the MIL doing the childcare if there is the remotest risk of her being a dick and colluding with the ex h to keep the son.

I will reiterate - the person doing the caring at the time it goes to court is the person who gets to keep the child.

Thanks for the advice.

Her son will stay with her. She works 4 days a week, so two days in nursery for DS and 1 day at home.

The family have played very dirty with her in the past to keep control, so I'm not putting anything past them now, which I why I'm asking for advice so they cannot trace anything back to her.

Her DH works full time and has often stayed in hotels during the week so he didn't have to commute, so she is definately the primary caregiver at the moment.

Thanks for the advice.

Her son will stay with her. She works 4 days a week, so two days in nursery for DS and 1 day at home.

The family have played very dirty with her in the past to keep control, so I'm not putting anything past them now, which I why I'm asking for advice so they cannot trace anything back to her.

Her DH works full time and has often stayed in hotels during the week so he didn't have to commute, so she is definately the primary caregiver at the moment.

Your friend would be well advised to see a solicitor to find out where she stands and what options there are before doing anything else. The usual legal advice is not to leave the former matrimonial home until arrangements for the finances and children are in place. The exception to this would be if it isn't safe to stay.

There is no need to manipulate the situation. Generally courts are reluctant to disrupt a child's sense of security and established bonds so changing the established status quo it is an uphill struggle. If the father works full time and is away a lot he will have difficulty claiming he is the parent with the majority of care. Shared residence is a possibility but shared residence doesn't necessarily mean children with each parent 50% of the time, it can be in different proportions.

Have you seen Question the Expert? Its a website where you can ask questions and get advice from a lawyer. Its not free, but not too pricey and really good. Here's the link: www.questiontheexpert.com

Womans Aid will give her advice and help, it may be worth her arranging some unpaid leave from work to sort herself out whilst she gets herself rehomed. It sounds as though she is the victim of emotional abuse and WA willl def help her.

Thank you for the advice.

I'm going to print this thread out and give it to her, I've already advised that she sees a solicitor straight away before taking action, but understandably, She didn't want to do anything before making sure She didn't lose her son over this.

Thanks again.

Thank you for the advice.

I'm going to print this thread out and give it to her, I've already advised that she sees a solicitor straight away before taking action, but understandably, She didn't want to do anything before making sure She didn't lose her son over this.

Thanks again.