Advice on child maintenance and ending a mortgage?

[porttree]

Hi, am hoping for a little advice, on separate but related issues.

H walked out on dd and me 3.5 years ago, totally out of the blue. He left for another woman, who he is still with.

Dd lives with me, and sees him twice a week usually, one evening at my place, while I go out, and at the weekend for a swimming lesson and lunch. She has never once stayed the night at his. After a while, he gave me some money every month, but then stopped when he lost his job. Since then, I've more or less had nothing, apart from this year, he managed to give me a small amount for a few months before once again losing his job.

We had just bought a house, and only living there for 9 weeks. It was in a new town, miles away from all my friends and family, so I didn't want to stay there. We have rented the house out, but the rent doesn't cover the mortgage by a couple of hundred pounds, and he has been covering this.

I have just found out that he and the gf are expecting a baby, and it has made me really worry about the situation dd and I are in as this is going to make his financial situation even worse.

So in a nutshell, what are my options in securing maintenance for dd? I can't see the point in going through the CSA, as he has nothing to give me, but perhaps now it's time? He has debts too, and just says he can't give me anything because he has too many outgoings.

As for the house, I am desperate to now just be rid of it, as I'm worried he'll stop paying for it. It's in negative equity as we bought at a bad time (thinking it'd be fine as we'd be there for years ) and it's safe to say I don't have the cash to make up the shortfall. If I get in touch with the bank, is there a chance they might just let us end the mortgage and write off the shortfall?

Sorry, I know these are broad questions, but I can't think straight at the moment, and can't even work out where to start with any of it. Thanks.

I'm sorry, I think you have to sell the house asap and bite the bullet on the negative equity. You might be able to arrange with the bank to pay that debt back over time, but when the new baby arrives I'm guessing a mortgage on a negative-equity house he doesn't even live in won't be your ex's top priority, and the debt will only get bigger - and half of it is yours.

Shitty for you, and shitty for your tenants, too. :(

But I guess a lot of people are going to be finding themselves in similar situations over the next few years.

I would not sell the house just yet, keep renting if your ex is happy to, prices will eventually go up, the last thing you need is to have extra debt both of you. I would put the rent up to cover the mortgage or change it to an interest only mortgage so that you don't have to pay extra each month. To sell the house also you will have to pay solicitors and estate agents, and it sounds like neither of you can afford that either!

As for him expecting a new child, he made that choice knowing his emotional and financial situation.

I would go to the csa regardless, you are right he probably won't give you much, the thing is one day he may be able to, by the way his debts dont' make any difference, he will have the money taken before his outgoings from his wages!

Are there interest-only BTL mortgages available? If so, that's worth a try, but I'd still be looking to get shot asap. I have a horrible feeling that interest rates are going to increase (I lived through the 15% times) and the debt will only get higher.

What kind of lease do the tenants have? It may not be possible to increase by "a couple of hundred" a month and stay with the same tenants; how many months can you afford a void?

Thanks for the replies.

Yes, I'm also concerned that the mortgage will not be his priority, which is why I'd like shot. Otherwise I would have tried to live with it a bit longer.

I don't know who is in there - we rent through an agent, and he deals with it all, well sort of (he is rather head in sand, i fear). The tenants don't tend to stay there all that long. Not sure we could put the rent up, as then it just wouldn't attract anyone.

Hadn't even thought about solicitor / agents fees - it is just never ending.....

As if all this isn't enough, he won't even agree to pay for the divorce. I have held out until now, as I just don't see why I should pay, when it's all his doing, but I think enough's enough and I am going to just pay it and be done.

I'm sorry you find yourself in this position, and hope you won't lose too much on the sale; will he be arsey about that, do you think, or co-operate? Is there any chance he could move into the bought place, and buy you out? (Even at a loss, getting your name off the documents could be worth it.)

I think, if you can both agree about property issues, child access/residency/maintenance etc, you can probably divorce at minimal cost, but as I've never done it, I'm no expert. :(