Family matter - breaking a court order

[Leslaki]

Just looking for some advice really. DC and I liove 400 miles from XH and his nutter of a NW. A court order says the DC should spend a week with him at Xmas inc Xmas day and specifies dates. However the DC are still at school (which i did say in court) during some ofthis time and the Head won't say yes to them taking it off as they started the term nearly 2 weeks late due to moving etc. DC are refusing to go over Xmas day as they hate his partner (we have CAFCASS reports mentioning Domestic Abuse in the form of verbal, emptional and psychological abuse from his partner) all of which the magistrates were aware of when they made the ruling. However EX has not been paying ANY maintenance for months now and I earn very little. I was in court last month (X failed to show up) and I have complied with the other access arrangement although XH refused to pay anything for the DC's travel (we are meant to pay half). When i mentioned this to the judge last month he awarded me the money to cover all fares (but xh owes me over £6k in court ordered money which he has never paid). Anyway I also mentioned 'being worried' about being able to comply with the court order over Xmas and the Judge basically said that if he is not sending any mantenance then he is not allowing me to comply with the order.
So.... is it OK legally to keep the DC with me this Xmas and take them to see their dad just after the day itself - what the DC and I want? In other words what is going to happen to me if I don't take them down?!!! XH has ignored court orders for years and I am so tempted to do the same now but worry i would be the one in big trouble.
I can't afford to pay all the travel anyway but would do so as I want thenm to see their dad but object to spending so much to send them away over Xmas when none of us wants that! DC are 7 and 8 btw.
Thanks in advance.

Who moved away from who?

Also not understanding how you can afford to pay the travel costs after Christmas but not for the court-ordered dates.

Kids and I moved away. I really can't afford to pay the travel at all and it means me and DC going without - it really angers me that he refuses to pay for any travel (he earns £70,000 + pa I earn £3,000 (I am desperately trying to get a better job). His partner also works full time and earns £20-£30,000. He refuses to pay ANY maintenance and refuses to pay me the court ordered money for arrears, money he took from the DC's bank accounts and costs for the divorce and other court fees. I will have to pay ALL the travel (he has a company car with free fuel btw!) as he refuses and I don't really see why I should have to pay to send the dc away over Xmas when none of us want that. DD says if I send her she will just run away . As I say WE will have to go without to pay the travel and from looking at prices etc it is cheaper after Xmas. XH and his partner forced the move - I coudn't afford the mortgage when he stopped paying maintenance even after taking on 2 jobs and they harrassed and bullied us for 3 years until none of us could take it anymore. Hope that clears it up. I just want to knnwo what might happen if I say no to him seeing them on Xmas day!!

Have you applied to court to enforce arrears? Maintenance included in a court order is enforceable like any other debt.

In any contact enforcement proceedings the court must ensure there was no reasonable excuse for breaking the order before applying any sanctions. What the judge seems to be saying is that if you do not comply with the contact order you have a reasonable excuse because the non payment of maintenance prevents you from complying with the order.

Given that he seems to have suffered no consequences from disobeying the court order, and the judge has pretty much said that you have a reasonable excuse for disobeying it, then I would suggest you do what seems right to you. And given the abuse of you and DC by this dickhead and his partner, and the fact that DC really don't want to go and see someone, if it were me I would ignore the court orders and, should the dickhead take legal action, appeal against it on the grounds that he is making it impossible for you to comply with his demands both by non-payment of money and abuse of DC. You can string this out for a good long time and hopefully (given that he is clearly only pursuing contact in order to cause you distress) if you don't plead with him or engage with him directy, he will get bored and sod off.

*someone who is horrible to them

Thanks guys!! STIDW I did apply fir enforcement way back in january but it got referred between county court and magistrates then the paperwork got lost - well, the affidavit got lost so I've had to apply for enforcement again.
I'm just gonna chance it!! As you say I can string it out for a long time and his only goal is to piss me off so he isn't going to travel to get the DC! Just kinda needed people to tell meit would be OK as I've never gone against a court order in my life