Do I have to reply to this divorce petition, I'm clueless?

[mummytowillow]

My ex and I have been officially separated for 15 months ie lived apart, our marriage however broke down six months before that but we lived in the same house until I moved back to my home town and we rented our house out.

I have received a divorce petition off him today and it is apart from one point a bunch of complete lies and I'm so angry about it!

He has completely forgotten about the affair he had and how he treated me when I had PND? So where exactly do I get my say in all this?

He has put a statement for children in it about our daughter (3) and he is making out he is paying her nursery fees £301 monthly and giving me £350 a month, he's not he pays her nursery fees instead of payment to me, I get nothing else it all goes on her nursery fees!

I cannot afford a solicitor and he knows that, I apparently earn £140 a month too much for legal aid, so really don't know what to do? We have a house together with a £200,000 mortgage and a joint account together that only has the mortgage coming out (this is covered by rent), but the joint account is £2000 overdrawn? He has made no mention in the petition about the house and the joint account and his rather large police pension he will get when he retires. Surely we can't get divorced until all this is sorted out, we can't sell the house as we have huge fixed rate penalties and would end up in negative equity?

I'm so frustrated as I don't know where I'm going to get the money for a lengthy drawn out divorce?

Any advice please?

As it should say on the papers, you have 8 days to acknowledge service and 29 days to file an answer or file a cross petition.

As you feel the petition is a bunch of lies, you may be tempted to contest the divorce or file a cross petition. However, doing so will only increase the costs and makes no difference to the financial settlement so there isn't a lot to gain. You could try talking to your ex and seeing if he will withdraw his petition to allow you to file instead or, alternatively, modify the particulars to something acceptable to you. However, if he isn't willing to do so I wouldn't worry about it. It may seem important now but it isn't. What matters is getting an appropriate financial settlement.

There will have to be a full financial disclosure as part of the settlement. The house, mortgage, joint account, etc. will all come in as part of that. The decree nisi will be granted without the financial settlement in place but it should be sorted before the decree absolute.

I know you say you can't afford a solicitor but it would really help you to use one. Their fee will come out of the settlement. I would recommend using solicitors who are members of Resolution. They try to be non-confrontational which should reduce costs.

Finally, if you think he isn't paying enough and won't pay more, I would think seriously about starting a case with the CSA for child maintenance. You don't have to wait for the divorce for that.

Mediation can be a much cheaper way of sorting things out. Centre for Justice www.centreforjustice.org is one provider, but there are others.

That's why I suggested using a solicitor who is a member of Resolution. They should encourage mediation and other non-confrontational ways of sorting things out.

I agree with Prh47.

On the acknowledgement of service form, I suggest that you state that you don't contest the divorce, but that many of the allegations are unfounded/exaggerated.

Re. the Children Statement, you can, if you wish, file your own Statement, but it would be simpler if, again on the acknowledgement of service form (on the back) you state that the details re. the finances are not correct.

It won't affect the divorce going through, and I agree with PRH47 again that you will have the opportunity of going over all the finances when you each complete your Form E.

Mediation is very good and I'd recommend that you suggest it to your husband.