Dh and are I splitting. We have been together 15 years total, married for 4, one dd aged 13. Have jointly owned a house for 14 years. The split is reasonably amicable although instigated by me.
We both work full time, and earn similiar amounts, and I would say that we take an equal 'share' in caring for our daughter.
We are hoping that we would continue to 'share' the care of our daughter - I know this is tricky, but that is our hope. We would continue to live close together, so schooling etc wouldn't be affected and I do have a strong family network.
We would sell our family home and this would provide enough equity for both of us to put deposits down on smaller houses, we plan to halve this equity which would give us about 25K each.
The problem is the short term - dh does not want to move out. He is not being awkward but feels he would be deserting dd if he did, and, as I instigated this, I do agree that it would be unfair to expect him to leave his home. He is prepared for both of us to live under the same roof until the house is sold, in theory, I know this could work, but, bearing in mind that house sales could take months, and, we would both be neogotiating new places to live at the same time, I think it could be quite stressful.
I have offered (albeit reluctantly) to find somewhere to rent nearby. Our wages could just about cover the mortgage and a rent and we would begin our 'shared' parenting arrangements straight away. I then figure that as soon as the house is sold, dh could go ahead and buy his new home and then I would consider buying once he was settled. I am worried however, about the legal effects (and emotional obviously as well) as effectively 'leaving' our family home. Its not that I'm deserting the family, I just feel it will be healthier for us to live separately asap. I know its going to be hard on dd, but she we will be living separately at some point anyway. I have heard that couples can draw up something called a consent order (?). Although we are amicable, I am worried about the legal implications of leaving 'our' home. I know deep down that dh would also give it another go. He is accepting of my decision, but, I feel that living together might give him a small amount of hope that we would stay together and that would have a whole new set of implications.
Does this sound like a nightmare idea? Am I being incredibly naive to even consider it? What does anybody know what a consent order involves - ie, cost? timeframe? Thanks so much - any advice gratefully recieved.