child maintenence not being paid as Dad abroad - what can I do??

[MumBarTheDoorZombiesAreComing]

Hi,

My first time posting here.

I split with my ex-p in September 2005 when DS was 13 months. It was due to his adultery. I wanted to try again by starting again he wanted to just get back together so we split permanently. I saw a solicitor who worked out x-p had to pay me 285E a month until DS was 16 or 18 if still in education even if we moved back to the UK as we are all British. It would have cost me 1000E to set this up but solicitor said the court may charge him the fee - Spanish courts are very favourable to the mothers.

X-p said he could only afford 200E and that he'd pay it which he did but it was never regular but sometime during the first 3 weeks of the month. He also refused to have him over night, when I needed etc and solictior said he could set up contact arrangements which he'd have to stick too.

Being an idiot (in hindsight) I didn't go through the solicitor as could live with the 200E and felt it unecessary to cause further upset and couldn't afford the fees myself and knew x-p couldn't.

After 10 months I decided to move back to the UK to have better support from my family - as I-L's wouldnot babysit ever - and to persue my career and get a better education. In all it would be a better life for me and DS and as his dad only had him 1/2 days a month the contact was minimal.

X-p and I agreed that instead of maintenece he would give 100E at birthday and christmas and pay for flights/ accomadation for us to visit once a year and he'll fly over and stay here once a year. I said I'd stay with a friend when he visits so he and DS can have quality time.

In March 2007 he did pay for flights/ hotel for us to visit but never been here and not paid for us to go since. This year he has not given money for his birthday as says he can't afford it.

I tried to get maintence through the CSA when we moved back but they have said they can't as he's abroad.

I have now been told about something I think is called a REMO?? Does anyone have advice about how I go about setting one up and whether I can get legal aid to assist with this and if not the costs involved??

Thanks for reading to the end.

Just found out he is moving to Germany in December does this affect things??

REMO is Reciprocial Enforcement of Maintenance Orders. It means that if the UK courts make a maintenance order against your ex it can be enforced by the authorities in many other countries, including Germany. Your first step therefore is to get a maintenance order. The staff at your local magistrate's court will be able to help.

Thanks, Ive contacted the magistates and I have to write a letter giving details etc. They pass it to legal department who will get back to me. Then the REMO office will send the request to the country he's in - currently Spain and they will make the decision whether to enforce maintenence. I'm not sure what will happen when he moves it depends if an order had been made by then or not. Just concerned he'll be unemployed in Germany and so they'll not enforce it.

I'm also going to attempt to get back payment- could be pushing it tho [hgrin]. Oh well even if they don't enforce anything I'll be no worse off than I am now- in for a penny .....!!!