breaking a court contact order

[Jollymummy2]

There is a court contact order regarding my daughter (she is 11). Since 2007 she has spent 3 nights a week with her father, 4 with me. A few days ago she decided she did not want to go back to his house, and wanted to change the order. She was terrified of going back and was shaking and crying.

She is still with me, but he thinks she will be with him next week for his half term week.And she does not want to go.

I have an appointment to see my Solicitor but i am stressed beyond belief about what may happen.

Does anyone have any experience of this?

Thanks

You need to get some legal advice first - I hope it's before contact resumes. I would be very concerned at her reaction to contact as there is clearly something very wrong.

You are caught between a rock and a hard place, you are meant to look after your daughter's welfare and, naturally, it will be your fault if you do not. On the other hand, you will be in breach of a court order if you do not send her to contact. Take advice, but go with your instincts.

Is your ex very litigious as I notice there is an order in place? It does also depend upon what Judge you get and you I presume you have not breached the order previously which will go in your favour. Hopefully someone will come on who can give you some legal advice prior to seeing your solicitor.

I have breached a court order and I don't recommend it. I did not stop contact, I changed the contact venue because the parties (one of whom was violent and abusive) would come into contact at school in front of other children. When it came to it, I could not face returning to this scenario ever again. I moved the venue to somewhere safe for everyone but without permission.

I was taken back to court for an enforcement order. Whilst I had to wait I was very stressed. However, we had a new Judge who went with me, stating it was in the best interests of the child to avoid stress levels like this.

You need to talk to your daughter - this is very worrying.

Have you any idea why this has happened at this particular time? The most common reasons with pre-adolescents and adolescents to reject a parent is either because they can't get their own way, don't want to do something or are avoiding a row. Their hormones are such that something that wouldn't usually phase them becomes a big thing. Because separated children don't see the parent all the time the issue can't be resolved quickly and takes on epic proportions making it more difficult for them to reconcile their feelings.

Other reasons might be changes in the structure of either family.

He is a controlling person, and believes that he is right and everyone else is wrong. He even argued with the judge at the last hearing, thats the sort of man he is.

She has wanted to spend more and more time with me and has today said it feels like a family here (with me, her step father that she adores, and sister and baby brother) her father is single.

I know that he can be quite intimidating, and seeing her that scared has made it impossible for me to want to put her back into the situation.