If I don't have official custody / residency of the DC's can XP just turn up at school and pick them up without the teachers stopping him?

[Meglet]

XP hasn't seen the dc's in over a year and refused to see them at a contact centre. He pays maintenance through the CSA.

I don't have official custody of the children as XP didn't want to bother seeing them and never put up a fight. They have his surname though.

When DS starts school next year does it mean that XP could turn up and collect DS and be able to take him and the school can't do anything about it?

Obviously either me or my mum would be picking DS up but I'm going into a 'what if' scenario and wondering if this means I need to get a solicitor involved to get official custody so the school will be able to stop XP taking him.

Off to do bath / bedtime but back later! TIA.

Haven't got a clue.

For your peace of mind it might be wise to go down the legal route.

What makes you think he would turn up and take them if he can't be bothered to see them now?

TBH, the courts only grant residence orders when it is clearly necessary. I think that if you made an application, there is a danger that the court would follow this "presumption of no order" doctrine.

Does he have parental responsibility?

I think it would be sensible to let the school know the situation and to ensure that your ds doesn't go with anyone you haven't previously authorised to collect.

Schools will not authorise kids to leave with just anyone. You will be asked for a list of who will be collecting your child/who they should call if you have an emergency or something. If you think he's likely to turn up, tell the school only to hand over DC to named people like you and your mum. DO you think the DC would even recognise him as their dad if he turned up now?

Our school you have to give a list of anyone who will be picking up your child. you have to tell the teacher if it's not me picking up dd but nanny.

We also have to put in writing if someone else is picking up your child if they are not on the list.

The best thing to do is to explain the situation to school about your family.

yes,if he has parental responsibility then of course he could just collect them!!
separated parents do this all the time....

Does XP have parental responsibility? Is there a court order preventing access?

Othewise he has as much right as you to access the children legally, wich eans school are not allowed to refuse him access.

However, if you have spoken to them, they can delay him. We do this by asking the parent to go to a room in school and keeping the child i another part of school for as long as possible, whilst another teacher calls the resident parent to warn them.

Legally, anyone who has parental responsibility can collect the child at any time they choose, from school/ nursery etc. Yes, he just has to be on the birth certificate. My ex collects DD anything between a couple of times a week and once a month with no notice and legally there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop him. It's rubbish. Wish I had never let him be named on her birth certificate.

Thanks for all the answers .

Yes, he has parental responsibility. Although threatening to kill us all means he probably doesn't take it very seriously . The police suggested an injunction last year but he died down so I never got to the stage of having to do it.

Obviously I will explain the situation to the school but we have a year to go before then so I'd better get to a solicitors asap.

He threatened to kill you all?? I agree with BB, that should swing your residence appln.

Yes, get the residence order and an injunction. With a violent dickhead, it's best to be well-armed with injunctions, court orders etc to make sure that if he comes anywhere near you or the DC he can be hauled off to the nick straight away.

You can explain the situation to the school, but they cannot stand in the way of his legal rights. You really need to get a move on ASAP.

'The police suggested an injunction last year but he died down so I never got to the stage of having to do it'

Really? You ignored advice on how to safeguard and protect yourself and your children because you didn't get round to it?

Meglet - the National Centre for Domestic Violence can obtain an injunction for you within 24hrs. Their website is here

does anyone know the legal situation regarding the child being picked up by the father from the child minder?

does the business contract the child minder have with the mum make any difference- ?

this is happening to my friend who is in dispute with the childs father who picks her up without consultation with her mum- the child minder hands her over without calling mum to inform/consult

the dad has parental rights but i am not really sure what that means in relation to this- i can understand that schools have to operate to comply with the law but is the contract with the child minder different in that its with the mum and is a business relationship providing a service which mum is paying for?

has anyone else had this problem?

cheers

DS's nursery hasn't got and contact details for his 'dad' he has no contact and hasnt for nearly 2 years. They know this so have his name and will not allow ds to leave with him if he turns up, only DH, my mum and I can collect him x

I agree with the other posts. You need a residence order, although you will need to explain why you need it because he hasn't actually said he will do this, has he?

I have an RO and it states that dad cannot collect from school, nor his parents. The school refused to be used as a contact handover venue and quite right they were too. Why should other children have to tolerate adult disputes? Schools are there to educate children not be used in family disputes, although sometimes I accept this is not always possible to avoid.

You need some legal advice.