Judge Knows Best when it comes to Breast

[anon200]

I left my XP in March 2010 due to severe emotional and psychological abuse, my son was 12 weeks old. In June 2010 XP took me to court for contact. He was given 2 hours contact twice a week with handover taking place at a police station. When my son turned 6 months old I started introducing solids. He is now 10 1/2 months old; eating three meals a day with numerous snacks in between, however I continue to breastfeed every few hours or so, as done so since birth, obviously now this is more of a comfort rather than a "feed" as such. Since June however I have increased contact to 2 1/2 hours twice a week, completely in line at a rate that my son can cope with, and I am completely willing to continue to increase contact at a rate accordingly.
In the meantime my XP has been recording conversations with me (and editing them) and has accused me of cutting my arms. These are very serious allegations to make and I have got numerous medical reports which has confirmed that this is completely untrue. the only distress I suffered was at the hands of the emotional abuse and this is reflected in a medical report.
The following court appearance was this October; a three month review. XP was wanting four hours twice a week as of now and a full day when he turns one. I was willing to continue to increase time at a rate child was happy with and explained that he breast feeds continuously. The judge has ordered 4 hours commencing immediately twice a week and as of December (when child turns one a full day once a week and four hours once a week. Explaining that my child still breastfeeds on an emotional level, she wasn't even interested in, apparently I can express, however does this qualify? Is she right in telling me that this is the best thing for my child? Isn't this denying my child his human rights to breastfeed and mine as a mothers?

Also,, after explaining to the judge that there have been voice recordings and false allegations about mental health and the fact that because of these reasons I don't want to see XP at handover and can it take place at a creche, the judge ordered that I still needed to handover child myself and mentioned there had been concerns over mental health before. Well, EXCUSE ME!!! These allegations have proved wrong with evidence from "qualified medical professionals" and since leaving XP I have flourished as I am not having to be subjected to emotional abuse!!!

The longer periods my son has with his father, I will express to keep up my milk supply to when I am with baby I can continue to breastfeed.

We go back to court in March, will overnight contact be granted then I wonder. I am in a pickle. What happened to mother's view? If staying contact is granted in March will probably put an end to BF my son. WHO recommends two years BF? I ask what has happened to our Barbie Doll society?

The thing is the mothers view has to be balanced against the view of the father and the rights of a child to have a meaningful relationship with both parents. That applies even if by most people's standard a parent's behaviour/lifestyle leaves much to be desired. There are no specific rights for a child to be breastfed. As far as human rights are concerned again it is a question of a balancing act between different rights.

There are no doubts that breast feeding can be beneficial but children who are insecure about their parentage tend to grow up with low self esteem which leads to emotional and behavioural problems in later life such as teenage pregnancy and dysfunctional relationships in adulthood. That is why courts presume that contact (and usually a reasonable amount to include overnights at the earliest opportunity) is in the interests of children in all but the most exceptional circumstances.

Sorry that you have to go through this.

Don't worry too much about the bf side of things.

My DS2 has continued to bf for the last 3+ years, despite me going away several times (for a week at a time) and being at work full-time in the week.

I understand that you are stressed about this.

You will not need to express to keep up your supply at age 1+ (especially not for just a day's absence), so don't stress about that.

Your DS will adapt, and you will too, but try not to stress too much about it in advance (easier said than done I know!).