Help, Dp had a wee fling and OW is a bit mad

[clayre]

My dp had a bit of a breakdown and had a text affair with OW, he met her once and they slept together, this was at the end of August!

I am not wanting to discuss the rights and wrongs of what he done, thats a whole other thread.

But OW is claiming to be pregnant, apparently when he told her he didnt want to have anything to do with her she got in touch and said she was 3 weeks pregnant, that there was something wrong with her and she would have to have a termination to save her and the baby now 3 weeks later and shes suddenly having twins, he still doesnt believe her. He has told her many times to not get in touch and she keeps finding ways to do it. What i would like to know is is there any way to find out for sure that she is pregnant and what can we do to make her leave us alone?

Today we told her if she wanted to contact us to do it through a solicitor and we havent heard from her since but thats only from this afternoon, its only a matter of time before we get another sob story from her!

Thanks in advance if anyone is able to help :)

Hi clayre i went through something similar with my ex. he had an affair while i was 7 months pregnant with ds. He was seeing her for a good few months.

he ended it with her when i (stupidly) agreed to take him back and within days of that she told him she was pregnant. she even sent him a text photo of a positive pregnancy test (later found out her friend was pregnant and did the test)

we knew she was lying cos i was pregnant and she wanted the attention and probably thought it was the best idea to make him stay with her. he started to ignore her calls and soon stopped hearing from her. - particularly when she wasnt' getting any bigger!

This lady is also probably trying to cling on to your dp the only way she knows how - by a fake pregnancy. she will soon give it up when she realises he's not going back

If she is pregnant then i dont know how the best way to find out would be other than to do some spying on her to see if she's getting a bump over the next month or so. If she's expecting twins you would expect her to show quite quickly

i know this isn't much help but just wanted to reply as it made me remember how awful it was for me worrying that my 'beloved' partner at the time hasn't only cheated on me but had potentially fathered another child

Thanks juicychops, sorry you have gone through similar, we dont live in the same town as her, she lives over 2 hours away so spying on her isnt an option, as far as we aware she is still living with her dp and 2 kids we are pretty sure she is lying, we just need closure before we can move on and she seems to be clinging on, everytime dp tells her to bugger off she then has another dramatic pregnancy issue to deal with, he says hes washed his hands with her but she cant seem to accept it.

Tell her dp.

I do hope you don't have any bunny rabbits

Sorry, that wasn't terribly helpful .

Definitely threaten an injunction (and be prepared to follow through). If she's pregnant and hassles your dh again after the birth, he and the baby will have to have DNA testing and if it shows that your dh is the father then of course he'll have to pay maintenance, and he may want to be involved in the child's life in terms of contact, which can be sorted out by mediation or court proceedings.

Chances are, though, that she's bullshitting.

Only guinea pigs and cats, LOL!

I dont know who her Dp is, or i would tell him, trust me!!

I havent heard from her since telling her to contact us through a solicitor so either shes taking my advice or planning her next move. She is insisting she gets the DNA test done, Dp is prepared to pay maintenance if there is a baby or babies, he thinks shes bullshitting too as she cant seem to stick to her story, but without going into too much detail its unlikely he fathered one baby never mind twins!

YOu did the right thing in telling her to contact you through a solicitor. If she makes other attempts to contact you, you can get a solicitor to write to her and inform her that any further attempts at contact will be treated as harassment.
Even if it turns out that your DP has impregnated her, that will not give her the right to harass you (or him).
Even if your P treated the woman shabbily and lied to her (which may also be possible) she still has no right to harass you.

We have a solicitor already willing to deal with this for us, i am just sick of her trying to control and manipulate us while her dp and kids seem unaffected, i am starting to feel she is harrassing us, contacting us using other peoples facebooks as we have blocked her, desperate to talk but only on her terms, i think her nose is put out of joint as i am now calling the shots.

Im a nervous wreck everytime a fone beeps/rings/email comes in.

Thanks for replies

OK you do need to get a solicitor's letter sent to her instructing her not to contact you or attempt to contact you (including via other people's FB pages) but for the sake of showing yourselves to be fair and reasonable, the letter should also probably say something like 'If you are PG by DP, when the baby is born he will be happy to take a DNA test and pay maintenance, please inform the solicitor when the baby is born'.