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Legal matters

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Access and Residency issues

18 replies

stacierubymay · 08/10/2010 11:21

My daughters father is seeking access after 3 years of being absent. I am agreeable to this but I have been sent his position statement and it is full of lies which makes me think he may follow on with residency. I would like to get my own position statement in and would like to apply for residency as I am worried that he will not return my daughter after access. Any advise would be gratefully received as I do not qualify for legal aid but can not afford a solicitor. I am at my wits end and am very confused about what I should be doing right now as I only have 6 days to submit anything to court.

OP posts:
esti1 · 08/10/2010 12:17

I am very surprised this has come to court YOU NEED TO GET A SOLICITIOR if it has come this far!!!! you may find that the court will not grant residence however and will make a recomendation for mediation. you can get a free one hour consultation with a solicitor take his letter of statement with you. i think he is bluffing you my ex partner did very same thing but did not get as far as court. i spke to a solicitor for free hour and felt very reasured about how the residency process works i cant see him being granted residency he will find himself being scrutinised by the court and if her is lying they will see through him straight away. The courts want families to communicate together and no way will he be granted residency over you they may rule residency in your favour but him having joint involvement. hope this reasures you.

cestlavielife · 08/10/2010 16:30

how old is DD?
if been absent for 3 years it wont be in child's best interest to suddnely go reside with him unless there are clear groudns eg you are not capable.

go thru his tatement li(n)e by li(n)e and write down/find the evidence which contradicts what he says.

if you get this info together before you see a solicitor for free consultation you might get best use of that time.

cestlavielife · 08/10/2010 16:32

how old is DD?
if been absent for 3 years it wont be in child's best interest to suddenly go reside with him unless there are clear grounds eg you are not capable.

go thru his tatement li(n)e by li(n)e and write down/find the evidence which contradicts what he says.

if you get this info together before you see a solicitor for free consultation you might get best use of that time.

SolidGoldBrass · 08/10/2010 16:35

Has this man a previous history of abuse, either towards you or to any other partners, that you know about? Abusive men often apply for unreasonable amounts of access such as residency when they have never even seen the child, purely as a way of harassing their XPs. Definitely consult a solicitor for a free half hour with all the evidence of his lies, as CLVL says. Best of luck.

prh47bridge · 08/10/2010 18:51

If I understand correctly, your ex is only seeking contact at this stage, not residence. The courts work on a no order principle, which means they will not make an order to simply confirm the status quo when there is no dispute. I therefore doubt you will be able to get a residence order at this stage. However, if he refused to return your daughter after contact you should have no problem getting a residence order. And if you can show that there is a credible threat of something like this happening you may be able to persuade the court to order supervised contact.

esti1 · 08/10/2010 19:39

the court will work on your childs best interest and accept his absence of three years in doing so. they are very apt to child development and base alot on attachment...I would not dig up the dirt on him or worry about abuse at this stage they dont take digging up lots of negative shit too well and tend to work well with the parent who is level headed. the no order thing is very true. google child development attchment theory and read up it makes good sence and you can use alot of this in your own staement to the court. good luck but I realy think you should not be worried about this to much. x

STIDW · 09/10/2010 11:19

Strictly speaking a statement isn't necessary at the first hearing. It is usual to meet with CAFCASS before the appointment with the judge to try and find if any agreement can be reached. If there is no agreement the judge then directs what information is required to assist him/her in making a decision at a future hearing and sets a timetable.

When children are surviving satisfactorily there is a reluctance to upset their sense of security and established bonds by changing the status quo. Any time to be spent with a parent who has been absent for some time will be introduced gradually, possibly starting off with indirect contact by post, phone and or internet. Only after a few months would the parent meet the child for a short time supervised and then, as long as the parent remains committed, on their own. The time would be gradually extended to a few hours, half a day a full day and eventually overnights.

Residence orders determine where a child shall live. A sole residence order is usually only granted in favour of one parent when for one reason or another there is evidence that it is inappropriate for a child to live with the other parent. You would need to show facts and evidence that your daughter is at risk of not being returned. It is open for either parent to apply for residence during children proceedings

These days the outcome of many residence orders is shared residence when a child lives some of the time with both parents. It is possible the father intends to make an application for residence in the hope he is awarded shared residence sometime in the future. Some judges award shared residence to underline the importance of both parents whilst others think the interests of children are best served living in one home. Recently one judge said shared residence is just symbolic and awarded the father SR so now the child "lives" with him 2 hours a fortnight in a contact centre.

A decision about applying for residence doesn't have to be made just now, it is open to either parent to apply during proceedings. The hearing coming up is for contact and I would focus on proposals of how this can be introduced over a few months with a review at the end. If you have evidence that the child is likely not to be returned after contact you can ask for it to take place in a contact centre. However, be aware that good contact for children ultimately relies on parents learning to work together and applying for residence or insisting on a contact centre can be very destructive in the long term.

stacierubymay · 15/10/2010 16:18

my daughter is only just 5!!

OP posts:
stacierubymay · 15/10/2010 16:20

and yes, he does have a history of domestic violence, but the courts have already said it was only towards me therefore poses no threat to my child :(

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stacierubymay · 15/10/2010 16:22

thanks 4 all your help x

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pipplings · 01/02/2011 14:15

hi, my son lives with his father,but he is not happy, how do i find out if there has been a residency order placed ?

StuffingGoldBrass · 01/02/2011 14:20

Pipplings, how old is your son and how long has he lived with his father? And how often do you see him? I do not think his father could get a residency order without any consultation with you unless you are a proven unfit parent (sorry, not insulting you here - don't know your circumstances) - MH or addiction issues or something.

pipplings · 01/02/2011 14:25

hi my sons 9, hes lived with his dad for 7 yrs i am trying my hardest to see him as often as possible, but his fathers wife keeps sending messages saying her other children arnt well or the cars broke ect ect, this has been going on now for nearly 12 months :(

he went to live with his father when i was suffering post-natal depression and they never wanted him to come back to me yet they palmed him off for 4 years to the paternal grandparents ??

StuffingGoldBrass · 01/02/2011 15:37

What contact arrangements are currently in place? Is there anything formal ie agreed in court? Unless his father and wife have adopted him (which could not have happened without your knowledge and permission) they should not be preventing you having regular contact with your son.
I think you need to consult a solicitor specialising in family law. I think you can get free half-hour consultations (if you don't have much cash) or you may be entitled to legal aid.

pipplings · 01/02/2011 15:54

none via a court it was an agreement between us, they havnt adopted, and i will take the advice given thankyou x

StuffingGoldBrass · 01/02/2011 15:59

Good luck pipplings. YOu are your son's mother and therefore have every right to see him regularly. He is also getting to the age where if he were to say that he wants to live with you, a court would take notice of his wishes.

balia · 01/02/2011 21:46

YOu are your son's mother and therefore have every right to see him regularly

I thought it was the child that had rights, not the parents? And given that he has lived with his Dad from the age of 2, perhaps a more conciliatory approach would be beneficial to him? Rather than talking about a change of residence even before regular contact has been established?

GypsyMoth · 01/02/2011 21:55

its true balia.....the parents have only responsibilities,its the children who have the rights!

as per the childrens act

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