Can I keep the house?

[MissBrodie]

My husband and I are seperating. We jointly own the house but I am the higher earner and I can pay for the mortgage myself. The children will live with me will I be forced to sell to release his share? Any advice as at early stages and want the house but not the husband!

There is nowhere near enough information here to give a definitive answer. The house will be one of the assets that will go into the pot. You and your husband will then have to determine how to split that pot between you. I would strongly recommend trying to sort that out yourselves. Getting your solicitors to do it can be expensive and going to court even more so, although you should certainly take advice from your solicitor.

The usual starting point is a 50/50 split of the assets. However, if the children are living with you that may entitle you to a larger share. On the other hand, the fact that you are the higher earner may entitle him to a larger share in lieu of maintenance. You will, of course, be entitled to child maintenance as long as the children are living with you.

If the house is your only significant asset it is likely that you will end up having to pay him a proportion of the value of the house after deducting the mortgage. If you can't afford to do that I'm afraid you will have to sell up and move to a smaller house.

Thanks thats helpful .. it does seem that I will have to sell. HE wants his money before he will move out. I could give him half of the money now but he wants it all. Is he being unrational or is this normal?

Although the staring point is supposed to be 50/50 it never is. The court's priority is making sure everyone ends up with a roof over their head and doesn't end up on benefits.

Kids come first so the first priority will be ensuring they have a roof over their heads and enough money to feed and clothe them. If they are going to live with you then that's your housing covered as well. Next is ensuring your husband has a roof over his head. Then you can start looking at a 50/50 split for other stuff.

There are various options that mean he retains his entitlement to some of the equity but without having to sell the house (and keeping a home for the kids). You could agree that he will get £xx from the equity at a point in the future, maybe when the youngest child is 18.

Negotiating the consent order yourselves, without solicitors, is a really good idea but you both need to be realistic about how things are to be split up and you both need to put the children's welfare first. If you're struggling to come to an agreement can I suggest you try a mediator before going to a solicitor. They will end up costing a lot less than a solicitor and will keep the process more amicable.

Good luck.

I'm not surprised he wants his money before moving out. After all, if he leaves with nothing it is going to limit his options on housing. On the other hand wanting all his money at this stage is not sensible. Until you've taken legal advice and sorted out the settlement you don't know what "all his money" really means.

I would add to Nocake's comments that you both need to get proper independent legal advice before finalising the agreement. That reduces the risk that one of you could get the agreement changed later by the courts. It doesn't happen very often but you don't want him to come back in 5 years demanding more money.

We have another property (mortgage free) that we could sell which would give him around half of his entitlement straight away and then the rest later but he wants it all now. I will look into a mediator and interestingly everyone I have spoken to says no to lawyers. I can manage the mortgage and bills myself but husband thinks that the courts would say I didn't need a 4 bed house only a 3 bed .. if I'm paying the mortgage what does it matter how big the house is..

Thanks

The size and value of the house do matter. Your husband is entitled to a fair share of the assets.

To take an extreme example, if your only asset was a house worth, say, £2M the courts wouldn't give that to you, making you a multi-millionairess and leaving your husband with peanuts, just because you had the children and could afford the mortgage.

The courts may say that a 4 bed house is bigger than you need if a fairer split can be achieved by you moving to something smaller. Of course, you should be trying to make sure it doesn't go to the courts.

You talk about the other property as half of his entitlement. Until there has been a full financial disclosure, you have negotiated the settlement and had it approved by the courts (or had a settlement imposed by the courts) you don't know how much he will get. At the moment you and he are guessing what his entitlement is.

I think they sometimes make a clause that if you were staying the house with the children then fine but once they turn 18 then your ex dh gets half the equity. You have a lot to discuss!

I would also stop taking financial advice from your soon to be ex as it is in his advantage to tell you anything that may benefit him and not you.
Seek your own counsel a.s.a.p. and don't sign anything yet.