DSS travel - who is responsible for what?

[Conflugenglugen]

Hi

This is my first post on MN, and I'm looking for your thoughts on this (I'll try and make it as brief as I can):

DH has a joint parenting agreement (not sole custody with visitation) with his ex-wife for DSS ? we have him most weekends, and then we split the holidays. Both families used to live in the same area, so we would share the travel costs to get DSS to our home and then back again, i.e. we would fetch DSS from ex-wife, who would then fetch him from us.

Three years ago, DH and I moved three hours away ? necessitating a 7-hour round trip to fetch and drop off DSS at weekends. We felt it would be unfair to ask DH's ex either to contribute to costs, or to do any travelling; so we currently fetch and drop him off (7 hours on Fridays and 7 on Sundays), and we pay for all travel costs ? parking, petrol, trains, etc.

I felt that, until DH's ex-wife moved, we couldn't ask her to share costs. Once she moved, then I felt that we would again be on an even footing, and that we should once again split all travel and travel costs.

However ... DH's ex-wife and her new partner have moved ... but it's only about 300 yards from her previous house.

So now I'm not sure where we stand. Do we continue to cover all travel costs, and do all the travelling ourselves? Or do we have recourse to ask DH's ex-wife to contribute something in terms of time or money?

I have lost all objectivity. Your help would be much appreciated. Thanks!

Well they haven't moved out of the area so I wouldn't really see that the circumstances have changed. The seven hour journey is a bit rough though. I think you have been fair so far and you should continue to do the noble thing.

i second firsttimemama, you moved away, your responsibility.

Thank you firsttimemama and LadySanders. I thought so. I just wanted to make sure that I hadn't missed something in the flurry of all the travelling!

Agree with the others. That would certainly be the way the courts would look at it - you moved so it is your responsibiilty.

Does DH pay child support? If so is it through the CSA and under the current scheme which has been in force since March 2003?

Under CSA rules when there are costs associated with contact such as travel and/or overnights in hotels it is possible to apply for a variation to the amount of CM paid. Any discount isn't huge though and it may not be worth any upset applying through the CSA may cause.

The CSA only take into account costs associated with contact if the parent with care has moved away. As that isn't the case here I would be very surprised if they gave any discount.

And remember, the boy's mother does all the school runs etc. Why did you move so far away? If you have most weekends, how does he get to go to parties and weekend activities with his friends?

We don't pay child support, no.

CCF - we moved for various reasons, most notably because we couldn't afford to buy where we were. Parties and activities with his mum are offset by activities and time with his half-brother here.

If you don't pay child support I would forget about any recourse because the parent who has the majority of overnights is entitled to claim child support. The amount of child support payable would cost considerably more than any money DH could hope to recoup for traveling expenses.

Yes, STIDW, that is a valid point ... and one that I hadn't factored in. Fair enough, indeed.