Access to children

[clairebear28]

Hi

I was wondering if someone could give me some advice please, I have a friend who has recently split up from him girlfriend after 2 years, they have a 1 year old daughter and she is 30 weeks pregnant at the moment, both pregnancies were not planned but he doesn?t regret them.

Basically the back story is they have a very volatile relationship always arguing, she seems to be addicted to gambelling, they have very angry arguments, she is very much a nutcase, she is the type of person to argue with someone in the street and the laungage that comes out of her mouth etc is disgusting. Anyway over the 2 years they had many arguments to the point where the police were called and she would accuse my friend of all sorts so he would be arrested, I am not saying he is a saint he would really argue with her, she would spit in his face etc but he would never hit a woman etc, it continued to the point where there was a court case for domestic abuse which was totally untrue and she withdrew her statement. He left her because clearly they were no good together and it wasnt right on the baby to be arguing like that etc.

She is not letting him see their baby except when it suits her, he desperately wants to see his baby and when the new one comes along but she is being extremely difficult.

What I was wondering is where he stands legally? He is named on the birth Certificate. He doesn?t want to cause problems he says she is a good mum except being addicted to online bingo!!!! But he just wants access to his children which she wont let him. He has resigned himself to the fact he will need to see a solicitor but isnt sure where he stands if due to the court case and police being called out he will have trouble. I just want to be able to advise him the best advice possibly so he can see his babies.

Many thanks in advance!!

I am not sure how he can say she is a good mother if she argues and swears with people in the street. Where are the children when she is doing this?

I have also got my doubts that he is much of a good father if he has managed to have two children with a women who is a 'nutcase'.

Anyway, however worrying you make the two of them sound they are the only mother and father their children will ever have and obviously the children have a right to a relationship with both of them.

If she won't co-operate do you think she would go to mediation, or is she too much of a 'nutcase'? If he has to, he can apply to court, but you are right to be concerned about the impact of domestic violence; court won't like that AT ALL because of the clearly documented serious damange done to children by exposure to domestic violence and abuse. It is not just the risk of physical harm but the risk of serious emotional harm by seeing/hearing their mother or father being hurt and not feeling safe.

She may well bring up issues of domestic violence again if he pushes for contact and there will be long drawn out court proceedings to establish who is telling the truth and how the children can be protected.

Both of them sound like they need to grow up or at least use contraception from now on.

sorry if I sound harsh, but I work in child protection and I get bloody sick and tired of these kind of situations. Children deserve so much better; they didn't ask to be born.