Can my children's father stop me moving home with them?

[rubin]

Hi,

Does anyone know what my rights are as regards moving home with my children? I am a single mother currently living in North of England with twin 18 mth old boys. Their father & I have never been in a relationship but he is on the Birth Certificate and so does have parental responsibility.
We have set up access arrangemnets between ourselves which is currently one weekend a fortnight. No overnight access yet as they are so young but will be starting that in a few months time.
Their father lives 5 hours away so already a long distance away.
I have found a job in Northern Ireland where my family live, which is much less stressful than my current one and will allow me to spend more time with the boys. It will also mean more support for me as I have been raising the boys since they were born totally on my own. It will be a much better life for the children, living in the countryside with lots of cousins to play with and their mum able to give them more of her time.
As they aren't at school age yet I dont feel I'm disrupting their lives.

Their father could still see them every fortnight and at that stage will be able to have overnight access. Cost wise it will probably work out cheaper to fly over to Northern Ireland than travel 5 hrs each way by car.

Can he stop me? What rights do I have? What would the court's take on it be??

Thanks!

He could object but I don't think he could actually stop you.

If you can show that it would not impact on his ability to see your dcs and have a part in their lives, then I can't see a court overruling you.

How would he have overnight access- would you allow him to stay with you or would you be expecting him to pay for a hotel?

As you're the one creating the distance, I would think it fair that you meet him half way, at least metaphorically.

Good luck with your move

I know this one - my parents were divorced - You can only be stopped from moving if it would disrupt access arrangements or be detrimental to the wellbeing of the children. If it won't (and you have already explained that it won't) then the court will have no problems - if it ever gets to court even, usually these things don't.

I hope you have a good life in Northern Ireland.

have you mentioned this to him yet?

he could file for a prohibited steps order,if he has a reason.....maybe he doesnt fancy getting the plane to and from you for the weekend.....he would perhaps eventually want more access too

This would be a move outside the jurisdiction of England and Wales so if he objects, you need to get permission from the court to go.

There is concern brewing that courts have too easily given leave to remove without giving full weight to the impact on the children of seeing less of the father BUT that argument is usually raised with regard to pretty significant moves to for eg Australia; it doesn't sound like your move would drastically impede the contact he has and it does sound like a good move for you and your children.

The court has refused permission when it is clear that the mother hasn't really thought it through and has no clear plans, but if you can show you will have somewhere to live, family nearby, good education prospects etc, etc, I would think it unlikely the court would stop you going.

Try to get his agreement and avoid going to court at all costs as it is likely to make things very difficult and bitter. But if he can understand you are doing it for the best interests of the children and will continue to support his relationship with them, hopefully he will agree to the move and there will be no trouble.

Good luck.

Thanks everyone for your responses.

He already pays for a hotel when he comes to visit them & because he drives a large 4 x 4 his costs on petrol are huge. So it should all balance out expenses wise, given that air travel can be cheap if booked in advance.

He only pays £8 per week - is self employed and so has been able to hide his true income. But travels abroad regularly so is well able to afford travel costs.

I know the boys life will be much better in NI - with support, family & friends for all of us it can only be better.

I'm going to speak to their father soon - just wanted to check my rights before I do so.

spero is right. As you will be leaving the jurisdiction (england and wales) you will either need his permission (in writing to be on safe side) or you will need to make an application to the Court for permission to remove your DC from the jurisdiction

Hi Spero/Mumoverseas/Babybarrister,

Thanks for your advice. If it does go to court, do you think it will go in my favour.
I really believe it's the best move for my boys & they won't lose contact with their father.

Rubin

Rubin - and we have great MNetters over here

Thanks Babybarrister,

I'm going to talk to their father this week.
Fingers crossed he sees the benefit in it all for our DSs.

Try and get the written agreement first as mumoverseas suggests - once he has given his agreement it will be difficult for him to change his mind unless there are very good reasons/change of circs.

If he won't agree or is stalling, suggest mediation. If he won't agree to that, make an application to court for leave to remove. You will need to provide a written statement and go into as much detail as you can about housing, schools, employment, family, friends etc. Also set out clearly what you are able/willing to do to keep their relationship with their father alive. If you can't afford to fund travel, will you skype, email, send progress reports etc??

You need to show the court that it is in the children's best interests to make the move

Thanks Spero. I'll let you know how I get on.

And please also note that you have to act quickly as, if the court gets involved, it may take ages and by then probably your job offer will be gone.

To try to negotiate a good arrangement with the father.

good point orangerie. court proceedings are likely to take six months at least, and could be longer.

Thank you Spero & Orangerie - will let you know how it goes

Can I ask how this situation turned out? Did you get to move back to NI. I'm in a similar situation myself and desperately need to find a solution!