Any changes with benefits/CSA??

[Overtiredmum]

I need some advice. About 13 years ago, my DH was in a relationship. His ex fell pregnant and within days, she finished the relationship saying she didn't love him, and he would not be named as father and he had no rights, and that she wanted to be a single mother.

This led him to believe that he wasn't the dad and thus the relationship ended as she wanted. He was only ever told through the grapevine that she had given birth etc, and she has never contacted him.

Fast forward to last year and she contacted my DH on Facebook to say the her son now wanted to meet him. Maybe naively, my DH ignored her and we heard no more.

So another 12 months later, and she has now contacted DH's brother and said she wants contact with DH and left a number.

As my DH is not even on the birth certificate, and I know she cannot just decide to put him on it, so could her reason for contact after 11 years be financial? DH wonders whether there has been a change in the benefit system whereby she would now legally have to name a dad, or could her son genuinely want to meet my DH, which seems odd to me when she refused to even name my DH on birth certificate?

Please don't flame me for this, I am just confused and worried. We have two DCs and hugh amount of debt, any change to our financial circumstances would see us lose our home.

Any thoughts would be helpful ...... Thank you for listening to my rambling. Ax

Bumpety bump

It's quite possible his son wants to meet him - it was her that doesn't want a relationship with him at the time.

as far as I know he would not be expected to pay for the past eleven years. And if it his son I'm sure your husband would want to support him wouldn't he ? (emotionally and financially).

Don't assume her motivations are financial - if they were she'd have chased him long again - it may just be that his son needs and wants to know his father.

Thanks Laurie I do agree and yes of course, if it is his son, he would do all he could. Just seems odd to deny your child a parent and that parent the right to its child, for such reasons. I could understand it if he were an awful person, but he is kind, gentle and a wonderful dad. I did know him at the time of this relationship, he was a good friend, so its not like he was awful and then changed.

Think I am just cynical as I had a bad relationship where I was s step mum and both financially and emotionally it drained me, and just scared of it happening again now I am a mum.

I'd like to add that if it were his son, he would be welcome into my family, although it would be confusing for all concerned at this stage.