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Access advice please sorry long

4 replies

roundthebend4 · 29/08/2010 08:19

I moved away from my previous home due to my ex living in same town and his lifestyle choices and friends was mpacting on the children ,Things thrown at house , dog pooh smeared on door and dc being spat at in the street when out with him or with me.Xh also lived and slept with a16yo ok not illegal but still made very tough life for my dc as you can imagine in small town

xh had pretty much open access as felt was best for dc used see them week and at in the week .Though when he took ds3 out he always wanted either ds2 or ds1 there which are sons from my previous realtionship .Due to not coping with ds3 sn and having dd who is 7

I kept giving details of signing courses but he would never attend even though told him they were heavily subsided so not much to pay .

Well I moved as impact was to great on dc.We are settled about 45mins away so not hrs and hrs and i contacted him to arrange contact and first wa stalking ok ,then he statrted mentioing going to solictor as i said at first would rather just him and dc meet .Would not give him my current address as his now Gf as made it clear does not like me and there are issues around her familys behaviour GBh recored , Abh and drugs etc .Though offered him my mums address for mail and my mobile which he has my mobile

Next time I called as he had failed to call so called him to try and work out when he would like to see the dc .His current gf wa sin background screaming abuse of .So told him was not acceptable and to contact me when he could talk.

he then contacted me through Fc to tell me not to contact him again and he was going to a solictor

Then nothing for a month though has my mobile no attempt to call .We then got in yesterday find a solictors letter on mat saying he wants access to the children without anyone else there and solictor can not see any rerason he should not diclose my address to myXh

Now im happy for him to see the dc np at all but my concern is ds3 who is 5 does not talk he uses makton and is physically and metally disabled functions mentslly at around 3yo and has epilepsy .

Xh refused training in signing when together, so obviously i am reluctant to let him see ds3 without me least being around in the background due to xh not being able to communicate or deal with a seizure or can i ask that he gets some training before having ds3 on his own.

Xh not wanting overnight he asking monthly .Though i offered him weekly

Where do i stand with regards my address and with him seeing ds3 without support

OP posts:
roundthebend4 · 29/08/2010 08:20

oh sorry should mention the letter gives me 14 days to respond or there file for court .Would i need to pay for a solictor ?

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roundthebend4 · 29/08/2010 09:25

Help please have just re read the letter and the solictor. Has given xh my new address it's nit him I'm worried about it's his current gf family .She has already made it clear does not like me and her family between them have convictions for AbH and GBH including time in prisson for assult with a knife

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cestlavielife · 30/08/2010 00:06

do you have SS children with disabilities team involved? ask for their support.

also ask for contact centre contact.

also speak to a solicitor.

let him take you to court where you can get cafcass involved given your ds issues and cnccerns around his care -is there anything recorded anywhere about the claims you amke about your ex? (without records htey are claim and your word against his....) any police record etc? school or SS record of his lack of involvement in ds needs?

roundthebend4 · 30/08/2010 08:28

thank you
yes the childrens with disablities team are around but not activley involved .They was looking for support for ds to attend groups but struggling to find someone with who ds can communicate

Becuase if you can sign and read his body language he really does have a lot to say

Oh and the claims yes as he had take some people to court becuas eof the harrasment and i came out in court why as judge told him he had made some erroes but then told the other person that the affair was legal and that end of he day they was not to apply there own moral judgement

Am going to try find a solictor tomorrow morning did try calling him to disc uss things but he wont accept calls

Just ds1 used to do care but he is busy with his own life and feel that at 7 dd is to young

im not objecting to contact hell i offered him more than he is now asking for but i want him do learn some signing

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