report crimes?

[wouldliketoknow]

i guess this is the best section for the question.
what do you think we should do as mumsnetters when someone tells us about a crime?
perhaps is our legal obligation to inform the police, specially when children are at risk or someone can't defend themselves, or munsnet must be a safe heaven, where people can talk without being reported, you know, when they wouldn't tell anyone.
what do you think? what would you like if it was you telling us something awful happened to you?

maybe i should post the question on aibu?

Hi, I am glad you started this thread as it raises important issues.

I can see where you are coming from but it is misplaced good intentions to speculate out loud about reporting stuff to the authorities that originates from a post.

If MNers start reporting crimes (or even talking about it) every time someone imagines they can identify one then there would be no place on MN for worried/ vulnerable women hoping to gain some perspective on an event without the thought that the next moment someone might be calling the police on their partner in the matter of a purely personal issue whose prosecution, or otherwise, should be down to them and which is often (not always) better dealt with in some way other than through the legal system.

I dunno, it's like people shouting "troll" the minute a post contains unconventional (to MN) views. That also frightens posters away.

Yes, it is trickier if there are children involved but surely it is better to engage the caring parent (the OP, presumably) and help them deal with the issue in RL than to add to their problems by isolating them and worrying them about dealing with potential police questioning and arrest of their partner and all the implications for care orders for their children? It is usually the case that family support provides better outcomes for children than state intervention.

OPs want to sort out their lives or they would not be posting. Few of us are legal experts and the police are more than capable of combing MN for potential crimes if they judge that to be a good use of their resources (doubtful).

I cannot imagine any OP wanting other posters to go to the police on their behalf...perhaps they might end up going themselves, encouraged and enlightened by other posters, but nobody wants these things taken out of their hands.

Rape crisis centres facilitate and encourage women to report assaults but do not take it upon themselves to do so. The Samaritans guarantee anonymity. This is for a reason and we should follow suit.

but what if the op has no intention of doing nothing, what about the little girl? and on legal matters it is an offence to have information about a crime and not disclose it to the police.
you might like to read this thread in relationship, they are having a good debate

It is not an offence in english law to not disclose a crime to the police. Oddly, it is not even an offence in english law to fail to help someone in distress (it is in France) unless you have some sort of special responsibility for them (a duty of care).

In any case, the only hearsay evidence (ie what someone has said) that is admissible in law is a confession from the perpetrator, so nothing that a mother says on MN that her partner did to their child is admissible evidence anyway. The mother's direct testimony OTOH is admissible evidence so it is she that needs to go to the police, not readers on MN.

Where MN has a great strength and is invaluable is enabling people to come forward with questions/ situations where they are unsure and to get support, help and possibly even encouragement to go to the police themselves. That is all closed off as an avenue if the other posters frighten the OP away by threatening to call in the authorities themselves. Also, unfortunately, the state is not necessarily helpful to most families - usually it is a mother who cares best for her child and is able to ensure that child's needs are met. It takes extraordinary circumstances before a child is taken into care (and care is not an ideal place to be) but an OP's fear of that happening can stifle all communication.

We all want what is best for the little girl and the mother, but "let's all call the police" is counter productive to that goal.

i wasn't thinking of calling the police, i was wondering the letter of the law, in spain is also an offence not to help someone in distress and you would be prosecuted, also in cases of abuse the police would look at you, if you could have done something to stop it but didn't, not sure if they would prosecute.
my mistake, i assumed that disclosure of a crime was an obligation, at least to start an investigation, i realize that it is hearsay and this would not be admitted in court as evidence, only police findings would, but i thought maybe would warrant an investigation. this thread is only an ethical question.

in this particular case, let's hope they both keep safe, and mum would gather enough courage to get herself and the girls as away as possible. to be honest, i feel uncomfortable knowing and being unable to do anything about it, but i don't want to call the police either, she has started several threads and perhaps mn is the only place where she can tell, that is a valuable resource that should not be taken away from her, that is why i decided to take the conversation elsewhere, so when she comes for support doesn't need to read this, which is hypothetical and doesn't apply to her anyway.

:-)

i think the best for me will be to stop worrying threads

stop reading them, not stop them all together