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Really need advice re divorce and house

1 reply

MissPopOff · 11/08/2010 15:44

The situation: former husband and I split in April 2009. He would not leave the house, so I rented a 2 bed flat with DD.

The ex started a relationship four months after I left. They are still together.

He has a reputation for spending too much, taking drugs and excessive drinking, therefore, not paying bills etc. Mortgage got into arrears.

He moved out of the marital home four months ago, to live with his mum. I work for a letting agent and got tenants to move into the property.

He now wants to move in with his girlfriend, two hours away from here (contact issues are a different story).

He is continually pressuring me to get a decree absolute, obviously being pushed by his girlfriend to "get rid of me". I am not comfortable with this because:

A. I am almost 37, because of him I have bad credit and no mortgage lender will touch me.

B. I want the house as a future investment for my DD.

C. I do not want to rent for the rest of my life, why should I when we have a perfectly nice house.

D. If I move back in when the current tenancy is finished, I will have to take a lodger as I could not afford it on my own.

E. My solicitor is suggesting we sell the property, but I will be left with nothing from putting 10 years financially and emotionally into a shit relationship. I refuse to walk away with nothing.

What the hell do I do? I want to move back in but can't afford it. I will not ask for the Decree absolute until I know I am financially secure.

The property is no longer in arrears but by a small amount. Ex is paying the shortfall, after all I am bringing up our daughter and paying rent.

He has taken all the furniture and white goods which were top of the range so now his new girlfriend can enjoy the things we bought together, while I won't have a bed to sleep on or a washing machine. (The flat I rent is fully furnished).

I am so confused. He just wants the divorce finalised so he can get on with his life, I want what is rightfully mine and DD's. I have been through hell and back, he has moved on.

What do I do?????

OP posts:
CupcakesHay · 12/08/2010 09:00

Don't know about the legal side, but i'd be tempted to divorce, agree to him having all the furniture and stuff, and you have the house.

Take in a lodger - think of it only temporarily - and get the arrears paid off.

Can friends and family give you some furniture to cope in meantime?

My main thing would be to get rid of husband and his name - because if he ends up running up bills again with new girlfriend it could affect your creidt rating more.

Poor you though. Crap situation. :(

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