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2 Residency Orders

2 replies

Porcha27 · 11/08/2010 00:28

Ok where do I start? Beginning would be good, at the start of last month (July) I was told by my ex that he and his mum were keeping my baby daughter (she was staying at his mums while I went to a birthday party) I got her back after a few days then 2 days later got a citation saying that he wanted residency of her. It said some pretty nasty and horrible things about me, drinking, taking drugs, neglecting her health, basically made me look like the mother from hell. Everything they said was false, and after consulting a solicitor I got defences written and we went to court. We had written statements from a few people involved with the family stating they thought I was a good mum and hadn't witnessed any neglect, however the judge granted him temporary custody of my daughter for 6 weeks till the social work and childrens reporter does a report. I get to see her 4 days a week however this has to be at his mums house with them present, which as you can imagine is horrible. I am beside myself with worry that since the judge has granted him temporary access that she will give him permenant access when we go back to court.I also have an older daughter who my ex foster mother is going for custody of, stating that once again I am an incompetant mum. I hate the thought that my babies will be split up, they love each other so much! I love them so much! Thinking about them being split up and only having contact once or twice a week breaks my heart. I have had the support of the SS throughout all this though, they have said the boss will be writing a report of his own to send to the court, the school is very happy with my eldest and the health visitor has no concerns. My family, friends and I are all crossing our fingers that everything will turn out ok, however I am seriously concerned that because there is now a second citation that is going to reflect badly on the first one and vice versa. Any advice on all this? I'm at my wits end!

OP posts:
mumblechum · 11/08/2010 07:56

Good grief, I can see why you're worried. It makes me wonder whether your foster mother is in collusion with your ex partner.

In any case, the Court would have to have some very compelling evidence of neglect before they'd take your child away permanently. If you don't already have a lawyer, you really need to get one pronto.

I'm not sure whether you're in England - the reason I ask is this "citation" you keep mentioning, which makes me wonder if you're in the US.

If you are in England and Wales, you can find a specialist family lawyer on www.resolution.org.uk

Porcha27 · 11/08/2010 11:15

Sorry forgot to say I'm in Scotland, I have been wondering the same thing, they are both denying that they are in this together though.
I got a lawyer thankfully, we only had 48 hours to do it though! I am fairly certain that with all the reports from SS, school etc that we will be reunited however I'm still worried.
I haven't always been the best mother :( I can't blame my ex but untill I met him everything was going ok, then it went downhill. I had to do everything alone, he was sat on the computer 24 7 , never worked so we had barely any money, and didn't help with anything else. I'm ashamed to admit, I got addicted to a computer game myself, mainly so I could block out the mess I had made of my life, then it got worse. Never doing housework, not cooking proper meals, not paying enough attention to my daughter. (I hope this won't affect her in later life) once I realised I was pregnant I also realised I had to change, I couldn't continue on the path I was stumbling down. So for the last couple of years I'm slowly but surely learning how to be the best mum I can, still making mistakes but I feel, and so does everyone else involved in our lives, we are making huge progress.
However they don't think I'm any better, and are using my past against me, with a vengence.
It doesn't read very nice, but I am trying my best!

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