Advice about a very messy divorce

[katedan]

I have just seen a very good friend of mine this afternoon and she is going through a terrible divorce and both sides the lawyers are making a fortune. Her husband had an affair and left her and her then 8 month old 3 years ago. Since then he has done everything possible to make her life difficult. He bought her out of the family home and pays her £1000 a month maintance. He sees their doughter one weekday night and one weekend night every week but she would like to make it a whole weekend every two weeks as the now 3 yr old daughter is finding it hard to be moved twice a week. He is a very rich man but is fighting every penny and her legal bills are £1400 a month!!!! for her to go to court to fight the finacial settlemnet and access order it will cost £20,000 which she does not have she has used her savings. She is working part time in a well paid job so does not get legal aid but she cannot afford to continue these legal costs. Every text, phonecall and e mail has to go through solictors as he is so abusive. The police have been involved as he is so nasty. My question is wht can she do? He can afford to fight forever but she cannot but after three years she needs to be able to get on with her life and be a mum to her DD. As you can imagine she is at her wits end. Please any advice would be great as I do not know how to help her.

no court will force/order dad to have more contact if he doesnt want it. she could stop the weekday contact but he may take her back to court, she could represent herself at court and just seek general advice from her solicitor to save costs.

Well, she has to think carefully about what exactly is she fighting for. Currently the father sees his daughter 4 times each fortnight. She would prefer this to be once a fortnight. Is this really worth a legal fight? Especially as there is a risk that if she wins the fight he will simply stop contact.

You mention that the father is rich. Presumably your friend isn't happy with the £1,000 a month?

Separated/divorced parents usually tend to fall into the every other weekend routine as it gives both of them proper quality time with the DC for a whole weekend and also a weekend off. The Courts however cannot force him to have his DD for more time.

Would they go to mediation? That might be an option.
Am amazed that her legal bills are 1,400 pcm. That sounds a little steep or is she paying off a larger sum that has built up due to hearings?

It is less contact for her ex which is what he is fighting about but is in the best interest of her DD who is finding it hard to be pushed from pillar to post. She is not being unreasonable but just wants this to be sorted. She cannot afford to keep putting every argument through the courts. No Ladymuck she is not happy with the £1000 a month bill it is terrible and has wiped out her savings. It just seems so unfair that he ended the marriage by having an affair and she has to pay more that £1000 a month to get divorced and sort out maintance and visiting rights for a baby he walked out on!