Contact - my ds 13 does not want to go

[prettypurpledaisy]

My exh and I separated in November last year. He has been having regular alternate weekend contact with dd 15 and ds 13. While we were still in marital home I stayed at my mums and he saw them at the house. This was inconvenient for me but I thought it best for my dcs. The marital home is now sold and we have moved to rented. He assumed that the arrangements would continue but I do not want to as I am now paying everything and the tenancy is in my sole name.
He lives with his mum in London and he now wants to take dcs to london every other weekend. My dd is not keen as she dances and does not want to miss comps but is willing to try. My ds on the other hand was really distressed last week as he did not want to go there that his gran was always drunk and she made him really nervous. I contacted exh and tried to explain but he did not listen to me or ds when he tried to explain. I persuaded ds to go despite his not wanting to saying that if he was unhappy he could talk to exh about it again.
He was really unhappy there this weekend and does not want to go. I feel awful as I know he should maintain contact with his dad and don't want to be accused of keeping them apart.
Has anyone else been through this? How did you ressolve it?

if there is no court order then he would have to appply for court action

but courts cant force kids of this age,so it wouldnt get very far. think its common for teens to do this....access does drop off,and is up to them to take it...or leave it....its between them and their dad and not much you can personally do at this age

The emotions of parents separating are such that it often isn't possible for to talk sensibly and the family communicating with the assistance of counselling might be useful. Relate, for example, has a family counselling service.