Ex-h and I aren't exactly amicable, but somehow arranged access (more than I wanted for him, but ho hum). We arranged to split/swap birthdays, christmas, etc etc, which has worked ok until now.
Christmas just gone (third Christmas seperately) was the third christmas I had the kids christmas eve/christmas morning, and he had them the rest of christmas day/boxing day. We agreed to this for three years running but not as a formal arrangement - on a yearly basis we agreed I'd like them christmas eve as we go to the carol service, and I like them to wake up and open their stockings, and ex-h always takes them to his mums that evening for a christmas dinner, and then he has bank holidays off so has them boxing day.
However, as I have no family other than them and have felt a real sense of loss when they leave (and they have also protested leaving although they are still both very young) this year I asked ex-h in November if we could swap and have them reversed ie him christmas eve/morning, and me christmas day/boxing day. He deflected the question entirely.
Then in January I set it all out properly and emailed him the request and proposed dates (to make it equal nights over the holidays) and he said no, it was against his 'family tradition'. He flat pan refused.
What can I do???? That was 7 months ago, and I have just sent him another email as I'd like to plan what we are doing this christmas. I'm 99% sure he's going to simply say 'no' again - but what can I do???
I'm posting this in another section by the way as I wasn't sure which was more appropriate.