divorce I suspect

[herehegoesagain]

hi there

I have a feeling xh is about to get nasty and start proceedings. What can I expect?

He left as a result of an affair under a year ago and is still seeing OW but not cohabiting (yet!)

He's always hard up and known for being very tight therefore I suspect will be wanting the house sold - have got a DC with a few years left at school - I also have not had the employment issues (at least not yet) that he's had

I can't see what grounds he would go for - any ideas? I can't see him suggesting adultery as he's still half in denial over OW's role and unlikely to take responsibility for any wrong doing. And can he force a house sale or suggest I support him?

I will see a solicitor but just pondering on it in the meantime.

It's not possible or your husband to petition for divorce based on his own adultery so he will need to cite unreasonable behaviour. Alternatively he would need to wait until you have been separated two years and divorce with consent or five years to divorce without. TBH the reason given isn't that important, it doesn't effect the finances or arrangements for children.

Are the deeds for the former matrimonial home held in joint names or have you registered matrimonial home rights? Once the application for divorce has been made your husband can make financial claims. The courts priority would be the welfare of dependent children and the other factors in s25 Matrimonial Causes Act 1973.

Without details of the value of jointly and solely held assets (including pensions) and liabilities, respective incomes, ages, any disabilities, duration of the relationship, numbers of children, their ages and the number of overnights they stay with each parent it's impossible to predict whether the house will be required to be sold or whether spouse maintenance is a factor.

As a general rule of thumb the preferred option is for children to remain in the former matrimonial home so as not to disrupt their sense of security, schooling, friendships and relationships with extended family. However, if the house is much bigger than required it might need to be sold to release equity to enable both parties to rehouse. Spouse maintenance depends upon the needs of one party and the ability to pay of the other. Again as a general rule of thumb there isn't enough discrepancy in incomes when the higher earner is on average or below income.

Going through the courts can be very destructive damaging long term relationships even further and ratcheting up a small fortune in legal costs. If at all possible both parties sitting down with a mediator or collaborative lawyers to come to an agreement between them is a better way of resolving matters.

Thanks, I am thinking that he might cite unreasonable behaviour which I would find hard to swallow given his long affair with OW - I know it doesn't matter in a way but it feels wrong

The deeds will be in both names

I think he will plead poverty as he has a low income but in reality he hasn't done much over the years to change that

I am keen to keep some stability for the DCs as although one is actually over 18 she has some significant issues I am helping her with although it would be difficult to provide documentary evidence of this (hard to explain here). XH is well aware of the issues although not close to the situation having flown the nest. Do you know how this would be viewed given that she is over 18?