Go for a third??

[IslaandMaxsMum]

I have a daughter aged 3.10 and son aged 2.8. Daughter will be starting reception class in September and son nursery in January. Keep thinking of trying for another after family holiday in October but just can't decide!! On the one hand, I would just love another (can't bear the thought of never being pregnant again!!) but worried about practicalities and how it would impact on my children. With only a 14 month gap between the 2 I have, also worry that the little one which would be 4/5 years younger would be left out! Confused.com - any advice?!?!

Oh god, no advice but am in the same boat. I swing from yes I want another to no I don't several times in one day! My two are 3yr9mths and 1yr 5mths. The list to and not to are equally balanced, my heart definitely says yes but my head says no. I am 36 and really starting to enjoy my two but have always wanted three. Wish I had the right answer. Let me know what you decide!

I would love another one but age and practicalities are not on my side. I think if you can afford to then why not.

I am really broody just now too and would love another one but I would need meds/help to have another one and as I already have 2 that would just be unneccessary when someone with no children could have the help. Also on a pratical side I dont have room for another one.

I can't decide either!

Have 2 ds's 4.9 and 2. Awful spd with ds2.

Financially it's do-able with careful budgeting (child care is the biggest thing to consider).

My heart say yes, my head says no (mainly in terms of holding us back in terms of what we can do with the boys now). Dh seems more reluctant, but is mainly worried in case I suffer with spd again.

I'm no help - sorry.

I was deciding this a few months ago!
I have 3 yo DS (just) & 17mnth DD - but we've decided to go for it!
Definitely the hardest decision we've ever had to make together.. because you know if you want 1 and then usually you want that 1 to have a brother/sister. But then you sort of have no reason to have #3
But i know i would regret not having another one. I love the hectic-ness and believe my 2DC will love another baby.
My DH took alot of convincing, but think they find it harder to imagine?
Anyway i think you should GO FOR IT!

Have a look at this related thread for thoughts.. Three

Do it ! if your posting here you know the answer already.
I have DD1 (5.10) DS1 (4.2) DD2 (2.11) and am 38.3 (that .3 is VERY important!)
TBH going from 1 -2 is the hardest step after that i found it easy. You already have the big items you'll need and as you have a son and daughter you'll prob still have clothes for easch sex and toys etc.
I had really awful pg with DC1 and DC2 - chronic SPD on crutches and wheelchair, hormonal induced brain bleed, hypremesis but pg 3 was a breeze I said through didnt miss anytime off work (I wk pt 3 days a week dh works shifts) amd had a labour that was 2 hours from start to finish. This one however, Im glad it's my last I alwyas wanted 4 children and would have felt something was missing if we hadnt gone ahead.
I bet Im posting here about no 5 in a few yrs time [amile]

I've just celebrated my youngest daughters birthday, she's now 3! She is my third dd and is the most incredibly wonderful little girl you could ever hope to meet.

We agonised over whether we should/shouldn't have another child after 2 dd's - dh said no, but I was desperate for a third - I can honestly say that she's the best thing that's ever happened to us!!!

Go for it! As hard as it is, you won't regret it!

A Mum of three (like me) said you've just given your DC's the best present in the world - another sibling - she was biased though!! The moment my older two (4 and 2 at the time) met my youngest was quite simply heart melting - gap of 4.9 years. DS1 just thinks DS2 is the most amazing thing in the world. It was like the whole family fell in love with each other all over again.

That is my thought about the best present. My DH said, his main concern is the children that we already have, and that the attention/money/ love/ time/ energy will be divided even more.. but i argued that having anoher sibling would make up for all of that? Am i right?
Mine have only just started playing nicely together.. (some of the time!) but i can already tell that it would be nice to have another little person in on it, and makes the relationships more interesting. (maybe justifying because of my own broodiness!!)

So for those of you who have gone for it, how did you convince your husbands? Mine is not so keen.......

They will have less time from parents, possibly less attention and energy though lots of "larger" families seem to spend more time with their family and less on being individuals. As for love, never!! There is just more!! It's amazing to see them love eachother and that makes you love them more. And they give eachother attention too. My youngest has learnt lots of his baby signs from his older siblings teaching him and my eldest gave my middle child a "football" coaching session on Friday complete with certificates for each level she completed!!

Husbands: Well, logically one would never have children and men can be more logical. TBH, we had talked about three in vague terms but didn't actually sit down and say, lets start trying. I didn't want to have to justify it so we both just got on with it.

am almost in exactly the same situation except number three is already on the way,
my big boy goes into year one in september, and my little one starts reception four days later, and bambino is due on sept 20th!!!! he wasn't planned, so it was a big shock, 16wks before i saw a midwife!!!! i am really excited and am assuming that because there is a bigger gap that things will be good, my hubby is very worried that our lives will never be the same again, but, i don't agree, the shock of one is the absolute biggest, so two to three can't be that bad,can it???????

number three would never have happened, we didnt plan him fate over christmas!!!!!! that or too much wine lol

ticklebug64 i asked his on mumsnet some time ago, and someone said they asked their DH when he was busy on his computer.. and he sort of went nodded, so she took that as game on!
My DH works 24/7 and doesn't do any of the parenting /chores etc, so he said, aslong as i think i can cope then go for it! But he is still getting his head round the idea, and would much prefer to stick to 2!

I have always todl him I wanted 3, then when no.2 was born in my sleep deprived, toddler tantrum stage said NO MORE!!! But I am so broody again. He now says we can talk about it when we move to Australia (bigger house - more sunshine - seems to = we can cope better :0). I seem to think it makes more sense to go for it now and have the baby born here in the UK where we at least know the system (although I am Australian). But the thought of moving house to the otherside of the world with two kids and a baby is pretty terrifying!!!

Think practically too.

size of house and garden, you will never be able to have any car, holidays just became trickier

then when they get older juggling their very different needs - i have a 7 yo, a 5 yo and a 2 yo and they all need different things at the same time.

Must admit i have found it a HUGE struggle.

I have just discovered I am pg with no 3, we always wanted more, but not this soon. Bearing this in mind, I would second consider the practicalities, as well as what has been said above, those of timing the pg too. I am spending my time thinking about the car, the mortgage etc.

Dull, but very real.

IME if you are half thinking about going again then it's probably the right thing to do for you. Most of my friends (and me) have just had our 2nd children who are now approaching toddlerhood, those that will probably go again have packed the baby stuff back up in the loft whereas those that are stopping at two have started Ebaying and giving the baby stuff away....which camp do you fall into?

It's something you just know. I think.

Anyway, do you remember how when you'd had your first, you looked at people who had two children and thought how the HELL do they manage two kids? And now you've got two, you realise that you just do? I'm sure it's just the same with three.

I love having 3, my guys are 7, 4 in Sept and just turned 2. It's full on but for us is I think it's getting a lot easier. I only have 20 months bet number 2 and number 3 and my middle child's always been tricky (even when she wasn't yet a middle child!) so I have found having 2 under 2, and then 2 under 3 quite hard but you've already been there OP!

For me the hardest bits were getting everyone out the house and then leaving places alone with all 3. Lots of my friends have 2 and it does all seem a little more crazy (thankfully my oldest is generally pretty angelic).

But I love it, I love having extra friends too and we have dithered long and hard about a 4th...but think we're probably done.

I went through this , do we , don't we a few months ago myself.

I ave 2 DS's, one is 5.5 and the other is 15 months old.

I too have ALWAYS wanted 3, and honestly I won't lie about the fact I never imagined myself as a mum to 2 boys only!

DH agreed initially even though he is REALLy not keen, but month after month of trying....we only tried 3 months, then I GOT COLD FEET! I am a VERY PRACTICAL person and realised that we are struggling to pay childcare as it is with only 2 and we could not afford for me to give up work.

So, we made the decision to stop trying.

I have started selling off some of the baby stuff and trying to use this as a bit of therapy in seeing if I can accept no more babies.

It is hard, every single womanly part of me yearns for another baby and I physically ache when I see a pregnant woman. Feel really sad that I may never be pregnant again.

It is a really hard decision when you have to be grown up about it and think with your head and not your heart.

Good Luck in finding the answer.

My eldest was in Year Two and my second in pre-school when number three arrived and they've both loved having a baby/toddler around the house. I did find it very hard work having school aged children and a baby, but it's been worth it! I also find that he's becoming very naughty because the older two find it so funny! But I wouldn't change it for anything.