Parents of 4 or more, can I pick your brains about spacing/timing please?

[Astrophe]

We have 3 DC (6, 4, 11 months) and have decided to have another (will be our last). Ideally I'd like a 2.5 year age gap so that DC3 is little more independent, but I thinik I really need to time things around our long holidays as I get very bad moring sickness, and so this will give us a 2 year gap.

Its likely I'll have a caesarean, and I'm a bit terrified of recovering from that with a 2 year old as well as the big kids to care for too.

I'd love your thoughts/warning/top tips/ideas on how to cope etc.

TIA

I had three very close then a 6 year gap, throughly recommend that, seriously 4 years is the min i would have if i could go back and do it all again.

mamatomany, do you find that your kids have vastly different needs though? I find even with the 3.5 year gap that the kids are not really 'peers' in the same way the older two (21 months apart) are, and I imagine this will make it hard to spread ourselves about and find things we all can do together?

I totally see the benefits though - I am finding the 3.5 year gap very easy compared to the 21 month, although personaility is a factor there too.

Yes and no, the eldest enjoys her own company and is pretty easy to forget if you're not careful because she's not demanding, but then when she is she goes off like a rocket and we all know about it.
The middle one is always at somebody elses house, it's a real shame though because she ought to be able to invite people over but there's so much going on it never happens.
The youngest of the three girls is very much still my baby, at 6 years but she is demanding and gets attention one way or another which is not good.
The biggest concern my husband had about number 4 was not giving them all individual attention and it is very hard.
Some days I feel like I've waited 5 years for DC4 and now he's here all I want to do is putting to bed/in his pram so I can get on with things for the older three.

wow, yes it is hard already to find one on one time for 3...but I can at least do something with the older two together and they both enjoy it (not the same as one on one time, but still ok), and so thats the theory I have with having DC 4 close to DC3. But then I am enjoying DC3 so much, and enjoying her babyhood far more than I ever though possible, that I sort of dread another...but want at the same time.

I have 18 months between DD1 and 2 it's a fab gap but hard work to begin with, they are very close more like twins now in some ways.

There is 2 1/2 years between DD2 and 3 and I felt this was too big a gap (honestly) so had to go and have another, there is 22 months between DD3 and DS.

They are now almost 6, 4 1/2, almost 2 and 9 weeks, it is utterly crazy but good fun.