How do you cope on your own

[tummytickler]

How do you cope on your own with your large family?
I am finding it really hard at the moment when dh is not here (he is mostly not here!). Youngest is 2.10 and is such hard work.
We hardly go anywhere at the moment as I cant drive, and ds wont go in the buggy, or sleep, or hold hands or anything else to make life easy!
The others dc's behaviour is going downhill fast - I think they do not behave well enough - dh says they are being normal kids.
We haven't gone out together to do something nice for ages - I really feel I cant cope with them at the moment (there are 4dc's).
Marriage is having a crisis too, and we were trying for number 5, but everything is blowing up in my face at the moment.

How do you all cope?
Does anyone else find it hard or am I just crap?
I am such a shouty, horrible, exhausted mother at the moment - sometimes I think I would hate to be one of my dc's.
I am a horrible wife at the moment too, dh and I havent stopped fighting over the last few weeks.
Sorry for the rant - just feeling down!
Does anyone find it hard - or an

You've got a lot on. It would make most of us really stressed out. Don't be too hard on yourself, 4DCs is double what I've got and it can be very exhausting. If you are at rock bottom, then things will have to get better. Good luck.

Thanks!
Had a better day today, dh is away this weekend at work (in a hospital, such long shifts that he stays over close to work, so not away having a great time!)
I felt myself starting to wind myself up, and getting a bit angsty, so we went to the park for 3 hours! Was lovely, although not technically me spending time with dc's as they played and i chatted to mum from school.
Had a more relaxing afternoon, and mostly kept it together.
Tomorrow we are doing baths and visiting my mum - dh will be back about 11pm, and has a day off Monday.
I do work, but I work on a labour ward, usually as part of the theatre team, so stressful, and I only do 2 shifts every 9 days. Last shift I spent 12 hours straight inside theatre, emergency after emergency, wa on my knees at home time. TBH I am thinking about giving it up at the end of the year and going back to uni to do MA in my first degree subject if we can afford it.

Loopy - I know what you mean about the self fulfilling prophecy - I am very aware of that, and try to remind myself why I love my dc's and dh often, as I have a tendency to see the dark side and make things more difficult than they need to be!
Must be really hard for you with husband away for such a long time!

Doubleexpresso - thanks - I think I am having a funny few months - things have to get better! Poor kids!