my mother

[Lonnie]

its my mothers 65th birthday today so I phoned.. wished her happy birthday etc..

my niece is with her (having left my house Monday her having stayed here for the last 7 months) my mother proceeds to ask the general " how are you all" that was her level of interest into how my children were..

She then proceeds to tell me about how well behaved my niece is how she doesnt belive she has ever told her off (I can recall her telling her off for freaks sake you tell a child off when they are children at times) and how well my sister has done with bringing her up..

Not a single inquiery about how my four wonderful children are not a single comment on how well a job i do and not a single comment on any of my kids..

I love my niece she is a lovely girl I love having her staying here with us and I have no qualms about her at all.. But it would be really lovely if my mother could be asked to ask about my children and how they are and what they do. I dont even think she can name them and I feel a bit upset right now to be truthful

(wasnt really sure where to put this but went for this forum as well I do have 4)

found this and thought I would answer you. Probably put things like this in Chat section as more people go there, so you wouldnt be 'ignored' so to speak.

I bet your Mum says how fantastic your DC are to your sister/brother when they visit. I know that my Mum does this, oh so and so is lovely, does this and did that. Then after we have visited all my sister hears is "Jax's DC said this, did that"

Try not to take it personally.

No she doesnt I speak with my sister regularly and my children are never mentioned..

ty for replying I feel better phoned MIL and now feel all loved up and filled with good mummy wibes..

just once again gives me a rason to stasy in a country that far away from her

Lonnie, maybe its her way of dealing with the distance and doesn't realise she's doing it.

Good you have mil, you sound close.

Lonnie,

That is just awful and I really feel for you. The only thing I can say is that sometimes people are just sooooo unreasonable that the only way to respond is to keep your dignity, not bitch back and just rise above it (whilst using friends and forums such as these to let us share your pain).

I have the opposite problem with my mum being a total saint and my in-laws saying and doing really hurtful and inappropriate things (gate-crashing our only family holiday in 10 years, and giving a £100 gift to each child on arrival but only £50 each to the twins as they thought we'd overdone it a bit). I have to take deep breaths frequently on the phone and treat them kind of like alzheimers patients who essentially don't understand what they're saying or how hurtful it is to the other person.

So glad your MIL is supportive and loving.

xx

Its not her way of dealing with distance its her mannerism she has favourites and are obvious about it always has been always will be no one corrects her and everyone pampers to hre needs..

ty for all the replies truth is i just got to not bother calling and live with the fact she is like that