4 dc 4 and under?

[haribomum]

hi i am new to this site but desperatly need some advice and have been lurking for a while. have just posted this on aibu but have been directed here.

ok here goes -
i have been with dp for 5 years now and we have ds 4, dd 18months and ds 6months. i have just found out im now pregnant again and am terrified tbh.

dp says we cant cope with another baby and to some extent i agree. it is hard with 3. just not sure i can abort.

im so confused and feeling tired and sick every hour of the day. can anyone help here? any exps of 4 under 5? triple prams? or any positive/negatives about termination?

thankyou for taking the time to read this x

Hi,
I have 6dc, ds1 10yr, ds2 9yr9mths, dd1 4yr, ds3 2yr7mths and ds4/dd2 20weeks.

I sympathise with the pregnancy making you tired and sick, I found my last prenancy exhausting.

I can say that whilst having 4 under 4 and now 4 under 5 has been really hard work at times, I have found it easier than I thought I would, thankfully all of mine sleep well including the twins so I get my sleep.

I use a double nipper and a sling if I am out on my own rather than a triple, or if very local ds3 is encourasged to walk (I keep the sling handy just in case)

Sorry not much help with termination we had planned to have pregnancy number 5 but never expected twins, however once the shock wore off I was optimistic we would get by somehow.

Good luck x

haribomum, my older children were 5,2 and 15m when no4 was born (so similar to you when I found out I was pg). Life was busy but tbh I enjoyed it. They were lovely together. No5 was born 2y5m later.

I did have a double pram. The 5yo walked and the 2yo (2y7)walked sometimes and other times climbed on the pushchair / got in the seat with the 15mo. I had a Silvercross Dual tandem pushchair.

A few years later when I had a 3yo, 17m and newborn I had a side-by-side twin with deep baskets that the 3yo would sit in if she got tired walking.

If you've just found out give yourself a bit of time to get used to the idea. If it wasn't planned then it is bound to be a bit of a shock.
Good luck.

haribomum I think you need to do what you think is best - but do give yourself time to think about it. What is most important is how you feel about the situation as it is you who have to deal with it.

I had three under two for a while then four under five and it was never easy. Things are paying off now as the elder three play with each other most of the time. When I had three under two I used a double buggy and a sling and when that got too difficult (three was a big baby!) moved to a buggy board and double pushchair. There was a big incentive to get the eldest two walking and I got them using scooters as quickly as possible.

Good luck

haribomum, i hope you're not giving yourself too hard a time over this. An unexpected pg can be v scary.
I think though with three tots already a fourth can't be that much harder especially as you're still in the nappy/buggy phase anyway.
I had a pg scare 2 weeks ago with what would have been no 4 and had a really stressful week but what concerned me most was our finances. Anyway test was negative and I was vaguely disappointed but dh was also relieved.Now i'm v broody for no 4 again!
I'm sure you need time and thought to get used to the idea first but things have a way of working out.
Take it easy