Please help me decide if I want another baby

[ChestyLaRue]

I have DD8, DD6, DS3 and DS1. I had thought that I was finished until last night, the thought just popped into my head. There could be various reasons for this.

1. My good friend is just about to give birth to a daughter. I am too excited about it though. My hankering is after another girl.

1. I am finding it very difficult to stop breastfeeding DS. I have breastfed all DC although none of the others for as long as this. DH has decided that I should stop now. I might be subconciously clinging on just to spite him because I am disappointed that he is being such an arse about it.

1. DS was 1 on Sat.

1. Not a reason, but it should be noted that I have had to use every ounce of self restraint for the past couple of months not to beg women with new babies to let me have a cuddle and I followed a poor grandpa out alone with his new grandson around Tesco's, stalker-stylee, for a good half hour the other day.

I am 32 and have been a SAHM for the past 4 years. We live in a quite small 3 bed semi. DDs share and DSs share. Aspiring to a bigger house but might be here for potentially as long as another 4 years. DH has a good job (albeit in financial services so who bloody knows if it's secure) and we get by comfortably each month.

DH was shocked when I raised the subject last night and pointed out all the logical and practical reasons not to. I agreed with them all but explained that the feeling I have is coming from my heart rather than my head. Think he is worried about what other people would think. His father is very judgemental and was unkind when we announced DS was on the way.

This feels like a safe place to hide and ask the question. Does it sound like I want another baby?

It does, but do you want another child, not just a baby? Will you be disappointed if you get a boy rather than a girl? I'd give it a few months and reassess.

Plus you would have to get your Dh to agree first.

I agree with what if it is a boy? Boys are scrummy too!! (I have both too and didn't mind what last one was after several traumatic losses)
I have 5 DC, it is chaos but I really feel 'done' now although get broody every now and then. To bear in mind...

Do you want a baby or another child/teen etc?
Can you handle more mess, more noise, less money, less sleep. DC 5 had severe reflux and we had no sleep for days on end, horrid. It wil not be your 'fantasy' baby!

However, now DS is a toddler it's lovely (I've bigger gaps than you though).For us 5 DC is great and we love it but it is hard work!!

i wouldn't if you want a girl rather than wanting a baby/child

you need to have a child because you want a child, not because you want a particular sex

as for the breastfeeding, WHO recommend BF until at least 2 yrs... so tell him to put that in his pipe and smoke it! lol

My original post does make me sound a bit baby mad but no, it's another child and not just a baby and either would be equally lovely. I think it's just because we have 2 of each and it's been a while since I've had tiny girls things around, but saying that, my boys are wonderful and 3 in succession would be fab. I think that DH would like another child but is getting too caught up with what other people might think.

I can understand that, we had 2 DD and then twin DSs and with next one found out at 16 weeks that we were having another DD, I was reall excited to have another DD but sadly I went into labour at 20 weeks... We then had a DS and he has brought so much joy..

Anyway it sounds like you want another so if you can get DH on board I would go for it!!

I understand about family though, my parents were awful about us having DC5, party as they were worried that we would go through loss again (we lost 4, 2 were after 20 weeks) and also as I had difficlut births (life threatening in one case). However, they were negative from DC3 onwards as tey had only 2 as did most people they knew.

Once DS was born, though, they were smitten and it really is your (and DH) decision not theirs.

Good luck whatever you decide!

You've got the same gaps and children as me, but my youngest is now 5 and i'm 42, I would have loved another one when I was 40 but I had a mc and since then I haven't conceived and have been working.
If I had my time over again I would have had another when my youngest was 2/3 and at playgroup, I would have loved to have a baby at home all to myself.
If I was you I would go for it in the next year or so and enjoy, we're only here once so don't have any regrets.

Just been chatting about it again. DH is in the mindset of 'last one in nappies' etc and seems to be focussing on the practical aspects of it. Told him that I understand but am wondering if when I'm 60, will these all still seem like valid reasons or will we regret not having tried. Wish I could work out why other people find it so hard to be glad about a new baby coming though. It would be different if we were having loads of kids and not looking after them properly or not financially capable of supporting them. We don't even ask people to babysit.