Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Larger families

Find out all about large family cars, holidays and more right here.

Flip

Original poster

Experiences of being 1 of 3???

14 replies

steph1512 · 27/04/2010 14:44

Hi we have just had our third dc..after lots of talking on whether to have a third or not..as we have heard alot of 'you cant have 3' 'someone is always left out' has issues etc etc.
we decided to go for a third anyway as we didnt feel done with 2 and i felt i would regret it if i didnt have another.

And i was right im loving it and cant believe i hesistated now.

But now we have three i have a niggling worry in the back of my mind that one could be left out and four seems the more logical number

we would like four but dont really think its an option for us various reasons.

So i would love to hear from you if you are one of three and if so what was it like as a child and now.

And the big question after being one of three would you have 3 yourself???

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

cherrylips · 27/04/2010 19:14

I'm one of 2, so can't answer your question directly. I also have 3 kids, and I love it!!!! Wouldn't have 4 though. We would be too skint.

sheeplikessleep · 27/04/2010 19:20

I have older sister and younger sister, about 2-3 year gap for each.

TBH, two did tend to gang up on one. BUT, sometimes it was me and older sis, sometimes me and younger sis and sometimes them against me.

It worked fine for us and I enjoyed having two sisters.

I'd love 3 kids (currently have 2.5 year old and 7 week old) ... just don't know if I'd have the energy. I definitely have rose tinted specs of 3!

Theantsgomarching · 27/04/2010 19:21

I the middle one of three girls and although i obviously have nothing to compare it with I've no complaints...and now we're older its fabulous.Ive a dd and a ds now and would not feel put off having three at all. I think once all kids are loved it really makes no difference...good luck

stargirl41 · 27/04/2010 19:28

I am the youngest of 3 and really love having two sisters.

The only times I recall feeling left out were to do with being the youngest, when my older sisters were allowed to do stuff that I couldn't/stay up later etc, but I'm sure I would have felt the same if I were the youngest of 2.

My DP is also 1 of 3, and now that we are all older and have our own kids it is great that they have lots of Aunties and Uncles and cousins. We have 2 DC now(2 and 2 months),and we're thinking of trying for number 3 eventually - probably because of our own positive experiences!

Katisha · 27/04/2010 19:33

It must depend a bit on the sexes surely as to how they interact when they are older?

I am the eldest of three, with two younger brothers. They played together mostly. I pretty much ignored them in later years and had my own friends.

trumpton · 27/04/2010 19:38

Middle one of 3 . Older sister and younger brother. Never minded being the middlest . As sheep said yes there is sometimes the odd one out but it's not always the same one.
I have 3 DC. Boy then two girls. They all seem fine.

Original poster

steph1512 · 27/04/2010 19:41

Good to hear all the positive experiences puts my mind at ease a bit.

Althou think you could be right katisha sexes might have something to do with it.

We have 2dds 21mth apart then our third (ds)with a 24mth gap.

Did wonder when preg if 3the same would be better than all different..but hoping if we stick with three that the close ages might help

OP posts:

PrettyCandles · 27/04/2010 19:45

I'm no2 of 3, and I have 3 myself. Having 2 felt too symmetrical (especially as we had one of each) and I always had this niggling feeling that we had too many spair hands when we were out as afamily. I don't regret having 3, in an ideal world I wd probably have 4!

The family dynamics change constantly and are far more interesting and intricate than with only 2 dc. It's toughest I think for the middle one - she is the most likely to get pushed out or overlooked.

I didn't feel this way myself as a child, possibly because there is a large age gap between me in my youn ger sib, so we had less in common and didn't compete for the same things.

skidoodly · 27/04/2010 19:47

Being one of three is great, although obviously I know no different.

In our family my sister and I are very close in age (17 months) and then a slightly bigger gap (2.5 years) between her and my brother.

No real ganging up as such - sis and I were very close being the two girls and very close in age, also fought lots, we both always doted on our brother and he was the apple of everybody's eye.

We all get along very well as adults, often see each other as twosomes but always respectful of "the three of us", if that makes sense.

kittykat77 · 01/05/2010 07:11

I am one of 3, and am also 29 weeks with our 3rd DC.

I completely know what u mean about 4 seeming to be a more logical number. In an ideal world I would love 4 DC's but financially it would cause big problems for us, so it may be that we have to stick at 3.

I guess some does depend on the mix of the kids. I have 2 brothers, and am not particularly close to them, but also have never really thought about it until I started having my own kids!

So in the answer to the question - ideally I would have 4, but life doesn't always work out exactly as you might plan it!

castille · 01/05/2010 07:27

I am one of three. My brother and I both have 3 of our own, and my sister wants 3, so there must be something we liked about it!

Despite the age gaps and different personalities, we have always got on pretty well. Whether they get on or not depends far more on affinities than on ages and sexes IME. But this will be the case however many children you have.

DecorHate · 01/05/2010 07:54

I'm one of 5 and have 3 dcs myself....

I don't think it as simple as what sex they are - age gaps, stage of development and personalities come into play too.

I have a dd, biggish gap then 2 ds's with a 2 year gap between them. Obv the boys play together a lot and dd does her own thing a lot. However the ds's are very different personality wise. Dd is quite motherly to ds2. When we are on holidays dd and ds1 do a lot together and ds2 can be a bit left out because he can't swim or cycle yet...

nymum · 01/05/2010 12:00

I was 1 of 3 children and enjoyed it very much. There is a bit of two-against-one sometimes, but, like others said, it changes, so it's not as if one child is always left out. And it's nice to have the option sometimes of having a playmate or being on one's own. We had 3 years between each of us (boy,me, girl) and found that age didn't matter as much as similar interests when it came to playing together.

My three have a similar age gap to yours- now 6,4, and 2(two girls 24 months apart and then a boy 20 months after DD2) and find they also play together quite a bit, but also team up depending on interests. Also, the girls (despite the small age gap) adore and love to mother their younger brother. In my experience, having a younger brother brings out the best in the three Had planned to stop at 3, but...surprise...number 4 is due 1 December. We'll see how that goes

4andnotout · 01/05/2010 12:14

I am the oldest of three, I have a brother and a sister with a 2 year gap between each of us. We used to always gang up 2 against 1 and each time it was a differenb combination but tbh regardless how many children there are in the family I think there will always be arguements.
Unfortunately we are now estranged from my brother but I'm still fairly close to my sister, we see eachother at least weekly at my parents house.
I have 4 children so far and would love a 5th, an odd number of children really doesn't faze me.

Flip